impossible or no?

When you set on accomplishing a major task, and a pretty important one too. Ever feel like you're gonna get it done without a problem, then one day, during preparation for accomplishing said task, you feel like you're the biggest failure around? 
I haven't felt this in a very very long time, probably not since my first harp concert 4 years ago. And in that case, I really did suck my performance up, but at least I was in the beginning group where it was somewhat expected, or at least there were no high expectations anyway, and other people were loud enough to cover up my lousy mistakes. I literally had a mental break down after it because of so many other things going on at the same time. I feel like I'm at that point again. I just finished, well 90% finished my teacher work sample (others know it as a portfolio), it was hard to analyze my teaching at some points, and it was just long and took up a lot of itme. I just have to polish it up by having more people edit it, have my teacher look at it make sure I did the write thins, since this is pass or fail. Now, within today until Tuesday, I need to come up with my lesson plans for next week. normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but because of other things I have to do (work this weekend and study for the GRE). It's getting difficult. I also hav eno motivation to do it. I've been pretty much somehwats stressed over my whole winter break, and I just want a break, which I don't think I'll ever get until I'm done with grad school (IF I get in), which won't be ntil summer of 2009. Seems so far away. I just took a diagnostic quiz thing for the GRE last night, and my heart just fell as I was going through it realizing how much I don't know, it was a real blow to the self-esteem and confidence in my intelligence. I always thought I was pretty smart and able to get by, but this test, wow, I suck. After that quiz, I have no motivation to even try and study anymore, I keep telling myself "what's the point? you suck so badon the diagnostics and you're not gonna get any better in a week!"I'm taking it a week from Friday (tomorrow). Just now studying for it, yes, only because I hadn't planned on taking it so soon, and I hadn't planned on applying for grad school until recently. I have to take the GRE by Jan 5th for the scores to sent with my application in time. 

It's just really discouraging, and I'm just not sure what to do other than just sit and zone out and stare at a tv screen.

....off to studying I go.

Go Dave!

My brother got into Med School! YAY! I'm VERY excited for him :) 

Next stop, me getting accepted into grad school (at the same university :) )

Another real update

Wow, so time flies by so fast when you're working your butt off!

As Bryan posted in his livejournal, I had an interview with the director for a masters program at the University of Utah. I'm hoping to get into the special education masters program with an emphasis in hearing impairment and early childhood education (0-5 years). My dream is to one day have a preschool/kindergarten that allows for several ways of communication rather than an emphasis in just one or only promoting one or two methods out of many options out there. I'm excited about it! The meeting with the director went VERY well. Turns out she knows pretty much who I am as she already knew my mom. She didn't realize who I was because of my married last name :) Once I told her I was a Burrow, she knew exactly who I was and was excited that I wanted to apply for the program. I may be able to get my scholarship to pay for my tuition and books AS WELL as applying for a grant that pretty much is a stipend (books and tuition as well), so that means work would be at a minimal. This is ideal as I would like to go full-time so that I may be able to graduate ASAP (2009). It's just crazy. I'm currently in the process of registering for the GRE and getting accommodations with that, hopefully I will be able to take it in January. We shall see, I don't see why not. 

Next, teaching second grade. I seriously cannot express how much I love this job. I love seeing the kids learn, I love seeing them explore many different books, math ideas, I love seeing the light click. I just love it. I can't wait to have my own school and do this with younger kids. It's hard for me to think of teaching any other grade right now, but then again I felt the same way when I was student teaching my Kindergraten classes. Kids are just amazing with what kind of capacity they have for learning!


My teacher work sample is tough to keep on top of. I have lessons to plan everyday, and things change everyday, I change homework assignments mid day half the time, so it's hard to get everything prepared the right way. I am supposed to have my teacher work sample done before Christmas break...yeah, we'll see how that goes :). I hope to finish planning out the assessments and lesson plans by the m iddle of this week so that I can do my pre-assessment Friday and then just teach rocks all of next week and do data collection the week after that. I'me xcited, yet nervous, and stressed abotu getting this done. But one good thing about all of this, it will show proof that my kids actually do learn in my classroom!....at least I hope.... :) 

I need to write more often so I can tell what kinds of cool lesson plans I do and fun things we do :). 

I'm also trying to keep up with organization stuff. I'm on the CLNA board, and that's been kind of slow lately due to lack of board members that we need to help keep things going, hopefully that will be taken care of this week though! *Crossees fingers* A local state coalition that I'm on is doing well, not too much to keep my busy, so that's nice. The student advisory council isn't bad either. 

I can't believe I graduate from BYU at the end of April. I'll be a graduate! Amazing. I'll still be a second grade teacher until school is out,t hen I pack up my things and enjoy the summer and hopefully start grad school in September at my current rival school, the U of U. One super nice thing about that is that I'm actually possibly going to be going to school with...my husband! YAY! How exciting is that? Makes me all giggly inside. 

I'm also a relief society teacher for the 2nd sunday of every month for my church. That's fun as well, I'm still trying to get back int he groove of teaching adults though. I like my classees to be very interactive and hands on, so I have yet to figure out a style that satisfies my need of itneraction but yet is reverent and quiet enough for church and much older ladies. 

Ah, the bell has rung and my class is coming. Plus the entry is way too long by now :) 
Hope all is going well!

Some days

I swear, My students try to drive me crazy on purpose. 
I've wanted to pull my hair out today, and all the other teachers agreed that it was the same today. Must be the sudden cold air we've had and the snow. Makes the kids excited, we've all noticed that they're just more talkative. Perhaps they're trying to keep warm by talking all the time??? :)
I still love my students though, they're awesome :) 

I have a meeting with the director of the grad program that I want to go into at the U of U tonight. I hope it goes well and I hope the prospects of attending grad school improve after tonight. We shall see. Well the prospects of attending grad school for free on a scholarship anyway...that's what I'm worried

Teacher headache

Hope and Pray that you NEVER have a REAL fire in your school. 

We had one today, allbeit a little one (Internal fire int he wall caused by the electrical stuff from the socket). Waiting out there for over an hour for everything to be fixed and taken care of. Trying to come up with ideas out of your butt to keep the kids entertained so that they don't drive every single soul around you crazy. All at the same time while trying to keep your sanity. Having five kids who suddenly have to go pee really bad when 10 minutes ago, they just did go pee (stupid fear feeling that triggers the need to wet your pants, which none of my kids did, thankfully). Having a billion questions that you can't answer about fires, and suddenly feeling retarded cause your own father is a firefighter and the kids remind you of that and ask why you don't know. 

And still have one hour of school left. Thank goodness it was just the late birds hour....but still....*head swims*

One year!

Happy one year anniversary to me and Bryan! YAY!

We're not doing our BIG celebration until next when I have THursday and Friday off, but we're still going to go and taste the wedding cake and go out to a nice dinner. :) I'm excited! YAY! :)

Sick Bryan

Bryan is sick as a dog. Please keep in your thoughts and prayers. He tested positive for strep tonsillitis today, was so dehydrated earlier that he had to have an IV to get some fluids in him. He didn't feel sick until this morning (crazy huh?) It's now the middle of the night and he's gone back downhill with the fever and throwing up. So any thoughts and prayers are appreciated, (especially because I do NOT want to clean up puke again...bleh). 

Thanks

I hate inside recess, my students love it

Teachers are so not paid enough. :) 

There is only ONE thing that I HATE about the rain. I L-O-V-E everything else about it, but the one thing I hate?

Inside recess (good bye half hour of my lunch time).

Joys of teaching

Joys of teaching early childhood education is that you get to see their inventive spelling. I love it. The students had homework where they had to think of math stories or objects to add up to 14. One example would be :
9 pinecones and 5 acorns on the forest floor. 

Here are some of the ones that were found in their work, all of them are typed exactly the way they did it:

Student 1 just moved from CA. You can tell. Every thing this student has a choice on choosing a subject or theme, it has to do with beaches. Below is an example of one of the math stories :) 

Student1
"I went to 1 beach then to 13 more beaches how many beaches in all?"

Student2
"I have 9 pentsals and a girl gave me 5 more pensal now haw mach pensals do i have?"

Student 3
"I have 8 shirtes and 6 pairs of shoes. how many peaces of clothing do i have?"

Student 4
"my sister has 14 candies :( and I have 0. How many candies do we have?" (yes the frowny face was there).

Student 5
"I wode like 2 glasis of milk and I wode like 12 lofs of bred. haw meney toogetr?"

Student 6
"i planted 9 onions and my dad planted 5 really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hot peppers, and we had 14 together"

And finally student 7, took me a minute to figure it out.
"6 strabeers and 8 blu beers"


I love it! :)

I love teaching

Aw man! So glad it's Friday. It may have only been a four day working week, but it was still an exhausting week. 

I can't believe it's been 2 1/2 weeks since I first started teaching. Unbelievable. My kids are still great. No major behavior stuff, haven't had to send any notes home. I have had to ask kids to go sit at their desk for some think time before changing the behavior card, but, nothing serious enough to alarm the parents. 

It's funny, I thought I had the seating chart all set up perfectly. Then I realize, I never will because someone will always hit it off with the person next to them. Which is a great thing when it comes to social development, but tough at times when it comes to classroom learning. :) It's still cute though. 

I love that Friday is casual day. That means I get to wear jeans. Before actually teaching, I couldn't believe that teachers would wear jeans to school. I mean, professionalism! hello! Now that I'm here, I can't WAIT to wear jeans. It's like the best thing about Fridays! :) 

One other cute thing. The kids have started giving me hugs when leaving for the day or coming in. I didn't expect that at all (I'm not a huggy person at all, not even with my own family, just with my hubby). But it's just nice to know that no matter what, the kids still like me at the end of the day/week. :) It's an ego booster, even if it's from someone who is only seven or eight years old. :) 

Ah, Teaching. I absolutely love it :)

I seem to be sick a lot

I hate being sick. Really, I hate it. Especially now that I'm teaching and it's only the first full week of school. I had to miss a district meeting last night and had to leave after only an hour and a half when the sub came this morning. It's frustrating because then I can't do authentic assessment on what they are learning today. *sigh* I'll try and interview them in small groups tomorrow to figure out what they learned. 

It was bound to happen though. A friend of mine came here after a trip (chance) not feeling well, then the next day a student left to go home early cause he had thrown up in the bathroom, the next day a different student is absent (he was today as well), and today, another student went home crying cause she felt sick (says she feels like she ate too much breakfast, really cute :) ). 

I want to go to the doctor, we finally got the medical insurance cards todsy, but not sure if i can use it yet, I hope so so I can just go and fix this. I hate hate hate being sick. It's ridiculous, I don't cry when I recognize that I'm sick. But when I tell people that I'm sick, I'mr eady to bawl my eyes out. I have NO idea why, there's no reason for it. 

Other than that, teaching is awesome. I tried to copy off of madamemama doing a DITL, but I realized how boring it was when I couldn't post pictures of the kids in the classroom, just way to many risks there with parent trust and all that jazz. However, they are so cute, I wish you guys could see them. :) I love them to death. I have quite a good classroom, no bad behavior problems. Just one student who has a hard time sitting still (I need to find better ways to engage him, but haven't quite found that medium yet), and a few really chatty ones. The chatty ones may be due to the fact that I changed the seating chart on monday. 

On Open House night (two days before school started), I allowed the students to sit where they wanted to. I warned them that following Friday I would be changing their desks. This was mostly due to the fact that somehow all the behavior ones ended up sitting next to each other, same goes for the best friends. But they seem to be coping well with the change, and it's nice. Just have to remind them to be quiet and raise their hands sometimes (especially in my case since I can't hear that well). 

I just love it. Maybe I'll post pictures of my classroom eventually, I dunno, it'll depend on ifanyone is actually interested in seeing boring pictures of a classroom with no students in it. 

Oh, one thing is way cute. I have a class plant (no pets, way too many allergies going on, the third grade teacher had to end up selling the rabbit he had just bought). On open house night, the students each picked a name and put it into a bucket. I picked out the most common names and they voted on it. We had started out with about 12 names. The last three were "Spike," "Green Blossom," and "Spongebob." Spongebob won by far. It's funny when I have a parent or fellow coworker in the classroom and they hear me say "Joshua, would you please water spongebob today?" They always smile and chuckle a little. :) 

Ok, Time to get back to resting for tomorrow, there is no way that I can skip tomorrow since I have nothing planned out for the class tomorrow. I'm gonna have to suck it up and just go in. I'll definitely be needing to use the class microphone as I have a sore throat, I've had fevers since yesterday afternoon, chills like crazy, and I was sweating a lot last night. My legs are killing me, so I'm sitting down a lot right now. Or more accurately, lying down at home, sitting in class. I just hope I get fully recovered over the weekend. The kids are very excited about Labor Day weekend vacation and I can't wait to hear the different things they did. :) I love 'em!

Update again

long time no updates for me eh?
Life has been crazy busy lately, and there just seems to be no time to do everything right now. 

California was awesome, went to disneyland, three different beaches, the san diego temple and the oakland temple (wow, sandiego is by far my favorite). Had some great food, one bad hotel two good ones, slept great, was awesome to see Bryan again, missed him so much. Good to see family (Bryan's parents and dogs). 

very brief summary I know, but that's basically what we did without details of everything, in which really the details would be "we had a blast together, so much fun and so good" :) 

No pictures cause I was too busy enjoying my time with bryan and didn't care much about them this time. :) 

we've been apartment hunting lately, not fun. Just depressing knowing what we can't have and what we can have (old places that are quite run down? bleh). But really, we don't have a choice :) We have to move in august, so we need to find a place soon. We looked at 8 different places last Saturday, looking at 2 maybe 3 more this Saturday. I'm tired of it to be honest as it gets stressul. 

I'm working full time right now, I work 9-10 hours a day right now, so by the time I get home, I despise the computer. I hate it so much that I won't even let Bryan on, yeah, that bad. :) 

I'm getting nervous for my internship. Starts in august, I have meetings in August to attend. I still need to set up my classroom and get the bulletin board and theme set up. I need to get supplies, etc, etc. That's not helping with my stress :) 

Got to go jet skiing for a work party one day. Major fun, i think bryan is addicted to it, even though he's only been once. :) 

My newphew got his baby blessing. It's so weird to know that I actually have a nephew. I love seeing Bryan with him, though I think it's making Bryan baby hungry. :) Not for a couple of years! :)

That's really all that's new....kidna sad, it's jsut been busy with work and just simply trying to wind down at the end of the day and be with bryan. I'm just glad he's home, everything is easier to deal with with him around.

Real update

since i've made an update that wasn;t whining about missing Bryan :)

Things are going well, Today is my last day student teaching (on a lunch break right now), and I'm not really student teaching all that much since it's a make up day for me since I missed a day. Just helping the teachers and observing the teachers doing testing all day today...that's about it. Then I'm done with this student teaching! Crazy! I'm very excited that I've made it through this far. 
My exit itnerview for my student teaching was last Friday. I got a lot more praises than I had expected and was very flattered. Both my mentor and supervisor had to write a letter of recommendation, and both highly recommended me as a teacher. I was so excited about it, it was much more than I had expected. The supervisor gives an average score from all of our observations. There are 35 things/standards that we are scored against on a scale from 0-3. My average was a 2.71 (after 5 observations), and apparantley that's one of the highest scores she's ever given.*Puts a gold star on her forehead* I'm a super star! :) 
I already miss the kids, a lot. I'm glad I'm done with homework and lesson plans, but I do miss the kids. I especially miss the kids that I did the majority of my lead teaching with (in other words, took over the whole class while the actual teacher just sat in the back or ran errands). I fell in love with the class a lot more than I thought I had. I had to say goodbye to them on Friday, and it made me cry! Highly unexpected as I don't cry that easily when it comes to goodbyes, especially in front of people. A few asked if I could stay forever, that just made my heart melt :) 
Overall, it was a great experience. I had a few downs where kids asked why I had a funny voice (I'm deaf, and thus, apparently my voice shows it at least a little bit, which I never knew), so that REALLY shot my pride down. Though one girl was cute about it and made me laugh. She just out of the blue said to me "You know, your voice may be funny, but you make up for it 'cause you're really pretty!" I got a compliment about my clothes, hair or the way I smell almost every day. Very cute, they made up for the funny voice comments ;)
I can't believe I technically only have two classes left...well...really...just one. They will be for my internship and count towards my fall semester credits. 6 credits just for having an internship, the other 6 is for my other half of the student teaching required for an Early Childhood Education License. So I hav ehomework to do during the fall semester (my teacher work sample which I do NOT look forward to, EVERYONE hates them, even the people who have to score them. The state requires proof that we know what we're doing, thus, our teacher work sample is a necessity...bleh). Then I'm done. Winter semester is when I just finish up my testing, and I'll graduate and walk in April. Insane! I then hope to go to grad school to get a masters specializing in early childhood education for hearing impaired students. We'll see how that goes. 
I get to see Bryan in two days, SUPER excited for it! :) I've gotten all nice and tan (you thought I would let Bryan be all tan and I show up all whitey...HAH, no way!), got my nails done this past Friday as part of a girls night out. (My sister has a bad habit of biting her nails, this is her last thing she can try to help stop biting nails since these are virtually unbitable). Both of my sisters got them done as well, they even got a little flower design on the ring fingers. Way cute, and they BOTH love it, I was surprised the nail biter loves them. I love mine, and yet, I hate mine. They just don't work well with typing on the computer or playing the piano :) 
I'm getting my hair done tomorrow after I get the keys to the school and my classroom (giggles with excitement here). MY VERY OWN CLASSROOM! I am so excited, I'll be able to go in and out as I please to set up and decorate my classroom before school starts. Ok, back to hair, I'm trimming it mostly and going to try to add A LOT more layers as well as highlights to my hair. Yeah, I'm gonna look good! Tan, nails done, lost 9 lbs (was aiming for 10, but 9 is good too), painted my toenails pink, hair done tomorrw. I'm feeling quite girly and love it :) 
Going to CA on wed, we're going to disneyland since we have all day passes for a wedding present from my brother. I know we're going to try to go to the San Diego temple, and visit with the family that Bryan worked for, they're taking us out to dinner as a thank you. I also know we're going to go visit his parents, but other than that, Bryan hasn't decided yet, and I don't care, I just am so gld that I get to see him :)
Ah, 12:30 my teacher should be back any minute now to do more testing....and this is an ultra long post :) I doubt any of you will make it all the way through reading every word :)
Hope everyone is doing well and is happy!

Feeling buff

I am woman! Hear me roar! *grins*

Bryan's car wouldn't work for awhile as the alarm would go off for some unknown reason. This happened the night before he left to go to CA. Talk about frustrating. Well, I got sick of wondering about when our parking lot would be paved and painted, (it is now paved, but not yet painted) as I didn't want to have to ask people to help me push Bryan's car back and forth once again. I was getting worried about it being onthe street as this past week was the second time it had one of those markings on the tire to see how long it's been there. So I decided to fiddle with it today. Bryan's dad had suspected it would be a blown fuse. So I checked every single fuse I could find in the car. Well, there was no blown fuse, but the car now works! YAY! I know, no big deal, but hey, it's a lot more than I ever expected to do! :D

Missing the hubby

no real convo with bry tonight...an exchange of....maybe 3 or 4 texts....:( (I know I'm taking this for granted, but still, I'm alone, no kids, no friends around here....) :(

weird nightmare

I don't even want to talk about the first one.

The second one, the basics, I was about to marry Bryan in the temple, found out I couldn't because apparantly I was already married to my cousin just so I could be sealed to a child as I was told that I couldn't have children ever. The whole rest of the dream was just Bryan really upset and hurt at me and me being devastated and not knowing what to do. Doesn't sound so bad when writing it down, but I woke up REALLY concerned and questioning myself whether I was sealed to Bryan or not, thank goodness I am, heh. 

I miss him.

More positive?

Things have been better since my last post. I had to sit down and read scriptures for awhile, and came across this one: D&C 50:40-43. I forgot how much I love what it says there. basically it says that we are not to fear as we are children of God. This helped me to remember that no matter what...I'm loved. I then remembered last year at some point I was struggling and was wondering if God could really love everyone. Bryan had told me to go back and highlight every scripture that talks of love. I did do that that night, I didn't think it would affect me much. But the other night, it sure did. i went back and read every single one of those. it helped me to not feel alone, and also loved at the same time. Not only by Heavenly Father, but also by Bryan as it just reminded me of how much he cared and wanted to help. So, yeah, thanks Bryan. :) It worked. 

I have now gotten a little bit of food poisoning. We all did (mom, sister and me) a little bit, but I got the bulk of it out of us three. I don't need/want to be sick right now just cause I need the energy for student teaching. Oh well. 

My brother who is on a mission in Thailand right now is on the phone with his girlfriend right now. I'm excited to talk to him soon. :) been six months, more than that, since he's been gone. Amazing. 

4 more weeks until I see Bryan. (fine, three weeks and 5 days, I am counting...)

4 more weeks until I'm done student teaching. 4 weeks and 3 days until my final, then I move on to my internship. 

had a great relief society lesson today about sharing the gospel. Interesting, she asked us why people are afraid to share the gospel, brought up a lot of responses from a lot of ladies. Guess I'm not the only one who is quite shy when it comes to sharing the gospel (probably why i didn't serve a mission!). 

I miss Bryan. of course. :) 

My brother and his wife are coming over with their brand new baby boy in a few moments. I'm excited, I hope to get some pictures of me and the baby (Benjamin) where I'm actually looking at the camera. :) He's way cute. 

Back to homework I go....*trudge*

Seriously I complain a lot

This has been a long long week. Student teaching really takes it out of me, and since I'm in a slump, I have no motivation to do any homework or work. So it's really hard to get going on it. My mentor teacher has also been driving me crazy, and I actually switch mentor teachers after next week, which is good and bad. Good that I won't be dealing directly with the one I hav enow, although she requested that she borrow me in the afternoons and was given permission to do so. Bad, I have to start all over again with learning 60 more names of kids (I switch both morning and afternoon session due to first teacher's class going off track [year round school]), and get the feel of management for the class. I'm not entirely excited. yet, I will be able to see two more perspectives on teaching kindergarten, which is quite valuable for my leraning experience...just...three weeks? man. Right now I also have to write detailed lesson plans for everything I teach, and I set up anywhere from 8-10 stations a week right now. Each lesson plan is at least 2-3 pages long. Then I also have homework on the side. Not fun. I also have an independent study class. I have to take the final by June 8th (which is my LASt day of student teaching), lucky me. I gotta figure out how to work that into the office hours of the testing place for independent study testing since they have normal office hours M-F 8-5 (I'm gone from 730am-6pm due to student teaching 45 minutes away and traffic being nasty). 

My apartment complex finally decided to pave the parking lot after half a year of it being torn away and sitting there with gravel. Problem? Bryan's car was in it and it doesn't work. Luckily we hav enice home teachers, Bryan called in a favor for me since I suck on the phone, and the hometeachers came over with a couple of other guys to push Bryan's car out on to the street. Need to make them cookies and such. Now I have to park aways away, which I wouldn't normally complain all that much, it just adds one more thing to this :) 

Bryan's car doesn't work because of something to do with the security system being screwy on his car, so I've been having to drive my car. The check engine light came on last week (his car broke down the night before he left). I just took it in today, need tune up, spark plugs, wiring, and engine coolant sensor replaced. Naturally...we just have (sarcasm) TONS of money to take care of it all. I'm tired of cars, but I HAVE to have a working car. if I miss a day of student teaching I have to make it up in the end, but which I do not want to do cause then I would have to prolong flying to CA to see Bryan, and possibly will not be able to make up all the days and not pass the course. That's just not an option since I've signed the contract with my internship last night. 

I also need to get stuff for a newsletter done for a national organization. i've been doing friendly follow up e-mails and such for people who owe me articles, but nothing so far. It's frustrating. This newsletter has to be done printed and ready to be in my hand by Friday. I also need to get together some minutes done for another organization, but at least this one can wait a little bit...hopefully. 

Not having Bryan here just makes it harder cause I can't really vent to him when I need to vent...right away. Over the phone sucks cause I can't hear that well, and I have no tty or landline to use a tty with. So e-mail or texting is basically my only option, so his voice...eh, don't get to really hear it all that much and when i do, I misunderstand or can't understand a lot of what he says. it's really frustrating. I was doing really well this week until last night, when it hit me, it's only been one week. I don't know how military people deal with the length of time their spouse may be gone. 

Also, seems like Bryan just doesn't have time/patience to listen to me about this right now. 

I also feel like I'm just making Bryan's time worse in CA by trying/needing to talk to him. Just feels like everything is my fault right now. 

I've been struggling a lot lately with prayers and scriptures. I try every night, and normally do make it, but it's usually quite short. I want to go to the temple...but...my car.....yeah. *sigh*

I just wanna curl up in a bed and go away. 

....yeah, major whine post and probably comes off as immature to most of you

Bryan's gone again

He's gone. I'll see him again June 14th or 15th when I fly out there to meet up with him to go to disneyland and visit his parents in San Francisco. I think I take these things kind of extra hard just cause I'm a very sensitive person, which sucks at times :) I REALLY miss the piano right now. WHen I'm down, or anything but happy, playing the piano always helps me. Too bad there isn't room for my keyboard at the least, oh well, piano music will do. 
The great awesome news for today though, my nephew was born at 4:06 AM this morning. 5 lbs and 15 oz. Everything went great, he and the mom are fine. :) I get to go see them after church today, I'm very excited and will be taking pictures...those are to come soon :)I am now officially an aunt! :) YAY!

Finals

*big sigh of relief*

All six finals are now done. :) I should get pretty decent grades this semester. :) Happy day it's done!

sister in law update

My sister-in-law went in today. They couldn't flip the baby over. She'll have to have a C-section next month, hopefully she won't go into labor before then.

Prayer list

This week I've been emotionally up and down, who knows why, I think it's several things contributing to it, but not sure if I've found everything that's been bugging me this week. Then I think I somehow manage to get Bryan grumpy this morning through my grumpiness, so I feel bad about that. And someone from the volunteer board I am on is pissed at my mother and I because he feels he has nothing to do....we gave him plenty to do, not sure why he's so angry with us. 
Anyway, a couple of family things did happen, one yesterday, one tomorrow
The one yesterday, got a message from my brother whose wife is expecting towards the end of May. 
"Just wanted to let you know that Melissa went into labor last night, 5 weeks early, and the baby was Breech. We were at the hospital all night, trying to get the labor stopped. We're good now, but we're going in to have them try to flip the baby on Friday, and we'd appreciate everyone's prayers that all will go well." 
I hate it, every time I pray, I keep forgetting to pray about her and it's bugging me. Bleh, I just hope everything works out for her, it has to be scary to be going in tomorrow for her. :(

Today, well technically happened last night, but I found about it just now here at work since my mom and I work in the same place. 
My sister got in a car accident last night. She's totally fine physically thank goodness. She's 17 so she's pretty darn shooken up. She was going 55 mph on a 15 or 20 mph curve near my parent's house, the car spun out and lost total control. Luckily she went east and not west where the hill drops off into a big stream/small river and pond. However, a caretaker lives in a gray house that my sister just barely missed, was just sitting close to the wall. They're lucky. The car instead just went through two fences. It'll cost at least 3,000 to repair the car (any of you know our history with cars will understand that this is just discouraging and a confirmation that we will never ever have a normal car...my dad's white truck has been good so far though). So at least she's ok, but still, that's a lot to happen. She had been at her friend's house, which she was not supposed to be as she told my mom she was at the store and was NOT going to visit him, and was very very late (11:00) mom expected her home at like 10:30 from the store. She was worried mom would be mad (which she admits she would have been) and sped home and lost control. Mom said one good thing happened out of it all, it led them to a nice long talk about how things have REALLY been going lately (she's been lying a lot apparently), and they talked until 230 this AM. That was a good thing to have a mother daughter talk, but a very expensive good thing so says mom. 

Can't something good happen?

****EDIT*****
Just found out, Hannah, the youngest sister, is getting her tonsils out Wednesday (on her 16th birthday), Hilarie is getting her wisdom teeth out the next week, My mom has to get a colonoscopy, not sure what's wrong, and has to go in to check for breast cancer, just found a lump, has to get a root canal, get surgery on her foot (in a couple of months) and possibly her back as there is bone growing ON bone in her foot and back. 
My brother's wife is 90% dialated, so it's very possible she'll have the baby tomorrow when they try to flip it. 
My old boss (she still works here, just different areas) had to have surgery for her breast cancer, on a scale of 1-4 she's a 3 with 4 being the worst. She's on chemo twice a week for six weeks then will go under radiation 5 times a week after that, they found so many lumps that they have to treat basically her whole body. Luckily, it didn't get in her organs, so she has a chance of living. 
Anything else to add to a prayer list? :)

Selfishness

THis may sound selfish, but I'm just having a brief "I want" moment, and I KNOW EVERYONE has this kind of moment once in awhile.

I really want a dog now. :( I miss my dogs at my parents' house. 
I want a bigger apartment.
I want a better car, though I am grateful it's still running for the time being.
I want finals to be over with, along with my student teaching.
I want more money.
I want chocolate.
I want ice cream, though not chocolate ice cream.
I want my Praxis scores to come back (should be any time now).
I want my projects to be done.
I want to teach.
I want to have a better clue of how to teach.
I want to be settled somewhere.
I want the dishes to do themselves.
I want a dishwasher.
I want a washer and dryer.
I want 450 bucks to buy my ticket to teach at a camp in the summer.
I want a preschool with both ASL and Cued American English. 
I want Bryan to not have to work nights.
I want...I want...I want....

Update on school/work

I'm in my cohort semester at BYU for the early childhood education major this semester. Basically it's my practicum for the primary grades, I've already done my practicum from pre-k and kindergarten. The beginning of the semester i struggled with being able to decide whether or not I was going to do an internship or not. I decided to do it. Had to get cleared through the department with my grades, that was fine, cleared with my professors, that was fine, cleared with my supervisor, that was fine, cleared with the liaison, that went fine (both the liaison and supervisor had to observe me first before permitting me to sign up for an interview). Finally, had to sign up for an interview, but we were only allowed to sign up for one school district, so I signed up for Alpine school district. The interview was yesterday...finally. :) I wasn't sure how it went at first, but I was able to answer all the questions. I felt I was talking a million miles a minute, but it went well. I got a phone call an hour after my interview, which was about a half hour to 45 minutes after ALL interviews. I got it! I'm teaching second grade for the 2006-2007 school year! I get credit at school for it, and at the same time get half salary (because of school stuff) and full health benefits with no premium. I'm way excited, and it might also mean Bryan and I may move to SLC to be closer for commute. We'll see how that goes. I got it!!! *happy dance*

Gone again

Bryan just walked out the door to new York for a day. :( (I'm a newlywed, give me a break)

My funny life

1. Bryan's elbow had a run in with my eye while trying to cuddle. This happened right after the same thing happened to my parents, and as a result my mom has to get lasik again as she had just had it done two or three days before that.

2. I just poured orange juice into my cereal and started eating it. It wasn't all that great. (I thought it was milk and was really really confused). 

3. Bryan was sweet to cook dinner for me one night. In the process of doing so, he managed to burn the paper that had the recipe on it while looking at it to cook the potatoes.

4. Bryan had never seen panty hose right after it came out of the box compared to after it had been worn once. He had this opportunity on Sunday. The result? "Wow, those REALLY stretched out!"
Talk about a way to make your wife feel fat! (remember I found this funny)

5. I'm sure there are more that I'm not remembering, I'm too tired (see number 2).

Praxis

I take the praxis in an hour, I'm way nervous. 

Birthday

So yeah, my surprise birthday thing from Bryan.
Posted here, I keep a few journal pages cause of different groups of friends, and I'm too lazy to do it here :) 

http://www.xanga.com/SlvrChic?nextdate=2/18/2006+23:59:59.999&direction=p

Husband

Is a meanie head.

He called me a walrus today...


*sniff*

Bizarre Dreams

All of my dreams for the past few days have been bizarre and EXTREMELY vivid. I have no idea why. My diet hasn't changed, we didn't change our water or switch brands in anything, they're just bizaree. 4 of them:


Summarizing all the dreams as I'm at work. 

Dream #1


I dreamt Puff Daddy had a personal vendetta against me for convincing his girlfriend to break up with him. He sent his troupe to come kill me the whole dream consisted of me constantly barely escaping from his reach
I was black in this dream. I looked exactly the same, except I was black. I make an UGLY black person.

Dream #2

I was Pocahontas in this one. I was dark skinned like a Native American is. I wore the whole animal skin outfit, feather in my hair, the whole deal. I tried to save John Smith and everything, though I don't know why I did in my dream. He was fat and really ugly. He was nicknamed Pugs in my dream. I was forced to marry him and I did NOT want to. I woke up in the middle of the wedding ceremony thank goodness.


Dream #3

I dreamt I was the lead singer of Cranberries. I had the same hairstyle and everything. Bryan was gone when I woke up from this one (I went quickly back to sleep). But I had woken myself up because I was singing the song "Zombie" out loud. Literally, I was singing it, poor people who heard me, especially since I didn't have my hearing aids in. 

Dream #4
I've had this dream before a couple of months ago.

I dreamt I was a lesbian with Nicole Kidman. It was halloween and we were in a supposedly haunted house. We were getting our moves on and then Bette Midler came storming in mad at both of us for hooking up. She wanted to make it a threesome. I woke up before that as well.

FREAKY AND WEIRD DREAMS!

Viewing

so, I went to a viewing today. First one I've really truly seen. I missed Tad's viewing, but made it to his funeral. This friend that just died last Friday, I can't make it to the funeral so I went to the viewing earlier tonight. His name is Ryan. I've known him since fourth grade, and even remember the first time I noticed him in fourth grade. Sweet sweet guy. I secretly wanted to date him in hs, even though he was my best friend's boyfriend for 3 years or so. (late middle school/early high school). I lost touch with him after high school, naturally, we went different ways. I got a phone call on Friday from my mom telling me he had died earlier that day. I got the full story today. he and his dad were on their way to his grandfather's funeral. His dad was driving. Ryan fell asleep in the car. He never woke up. He just simply stopped breathing. He had trouble breathing earlier that day, but no one thought anything of it, neither did he. He died peacefully at least. He was 22, he was pretty young and he had A LOT of potential as an artist. I even saw of his paintings that he did when we were in 9th grade and gave it to my best friend as a present. I remember a lot of things with him. I didn't think it would be hard or weird at all to go to the viewing, until I got there. I've never actually met his parents, but they knew who I was, I knew his older sister, but was surprised she remembered me. I had no idea what to say. That was the awkward part. Then I saw him in the coffin. that was really really hard. Seeing someone I know, actually knew in real life and was friends with him and such, seeing him in there was really hard. I knew Tad better, but I didn't see him dead. The last memory I have of Tad was saying bye to me at the door as I walked out at his Lehi house. Ryan ont he other hand, I saw him dead and that was just really hard for me to deal with. Totally different feeling, especially knowing that, heck, he was only 22 years old. I didn't look at him for very long, but I saw some pictures as I was walking out where all of us friends were in it. Suddenly I just missed him and was sad I never got to really stay good friends with him. He was a good guy and I never thought anything bad of him. Then I thought about how nice it must be to not have to face the trials of this world anymore. At least he won't have to deal with that anymore :) That's the only thing that comforts me in this, and I can't imagine how the family feels. It was just sad. 
Amongst all this a few other deaths of people I know have happened recently as well. So it's just kind of a gloomy year along those lines. 
yeah....i dunno.....just hard...

Birthday

Bryan has a weekend planned for my birthday this year. (it's sunday). He won't tell me a THING about it. All I know is I have to pack for two days and that we're leaving tonight...hmm, not sure what's going to happen. But I'm super excited :) 

Oh, my cell phone DIED a couple of weeks ago. Well....Dad got me a new one for my birthday and I just love it. YAY for birthdays!

and I can only probably say yay cause it'll be my 23rd birthday....

Missed flight

Bryan missed his flight in Ny after having 230897234987 delays in Atlanta for his layover. He might not make it home until tmrw night. :( I feel bad for him cause he wanted to be home tonight so he wouldn't miss classes tomorrow as he already missed two days. Sad. that and I miss him..

I complain a lot

So, tonight is pretty much the first time I'm at home "sleeping" while Bryan is gone. he's in NY for the next 24 hours doing a red eye flight to do something for work. I can't sleep, I didn't think I would have this hard of a time with it. I tried to start sleeping about 2 hours ago, but haven't been able to yet. Which is very odd and frustrating, I've been exhausted lately and have done nothing but sleep when I'm a passenger in the car or whenever I simply lay down. and now....I can't freaking sleep! bleh. stupid. WE just got back from Idaho from visiting chancelot (sorry don't know how to use the username link thing) and his wife. It was great, we got there Friday night, and stayed until Monday evening, however, since the alternator was shot on our way home....we got stuck in Pocatello and had to stay the night. The car died while driving it, thankfully, near a hotel. The first hotel we went to was booked cause of the POTATO EXPO! *rolls eyes* Long story short, we got it fixed and got home around 7PM tuesday night when we meant to get home 10PM monday night. Then Bryan had to leave just fter 830 to catch the shuttle to the airport to do this trip to NY. So nonetheless, it was a stressful trip home. Ended up paying about 450 for the alternator to be replaced at a shop, and the hotel we had to stay at only had two rooms available (the others were full) and the room cost 89.99 (she gave us a 10 dollar discount so it was 79.99 instead). we also had a moronic driver take us from one hotel to the other, the trip ended up being about 15 minutes long when the other hotel was JUST ACROSS THE STREET. we just didn't get it. We got to the hotel and that lady was nice, and we were there for 10 hours, we slept quite a bit, we were tiiiiired. then woke up, had a mean mechanic on the phone, but had no choice but to go there. Had a wonderful tow truck driver have us follow him to the place. Dealt with mr jerky jerk and waited at the shop from 10ish to 3 or 4, I can't remember. During which we walked in the freezing cold (givse me the chills to think about it now) to get lunch at the only place that had food (chinese....in Idaho...interesting). Finally get out of there, and it's snowing quite a bit as soon as we get on the freeway, thus we're slowed in our travelling time quite a bit. Got home, had to run to Wal-mart and Bry's work to get stuff for the trip that he needs, came home, he changed and was out the door. I miss him a lot. that's all I have to say about that.