Seriously not showing off

My entire time in college, the past 4 1/2 years, has been difficult for me to get good grades. I always get A's on my homework assignments, it's the tests that kill me. My first year, I played around too much and slept through almost every single class. My second year I got it together a LITTLE bit, still had a hard time staying awake in classes, and still hadn't really determined my major. My GPA hit an all time low of 2.5 if that lets you know how bad I was doing. My third year....Started realizing that the major I picked and was doubting was REALLY not the major for me, but didn't know what to do, so just basically took a bunch of GE's and classes I didn't need. My fourth year, finally figured out what I wanted to do, picked the major and registered for the major classes. I really struggled last year with some of the major classes I had, especially all of the development type classes (they all had a ton to do with theory, thus, lots of testing and little homework). So I'm officially in the program this past semester, all major classes, no more GE's or pre-requisites. This is it. I worked my butt off this semester, and I worked hard. I got married this semester, in the middle of it nontheless (october 7th), and that was not easy. We got back from our short honeymoon the night before I had a final for a block class. Things were pretty stressful, but I LOVED all of my classes. I worked so hard, and worked jobs whenever I could. I also had 6 classes (all 2 credits, but all demanded work that was at least a 3, maybe 4 credit load class). So all this being said, I just finally got the rest of my grades posted today for fall semester of 2005. For the first time ever, I didn't get anything lower than an A- in a semester. I got 2 A-'s and 4 A's, a sparkling 3.90 semester GPA. I am so freaking proud of myself for working so hard and being able to do that. Merry late Christmas to me, Emilie! :)

Present

My parents got us a CHOCOLATE FONDUE FOUNTAIN for Christmas :D YAY! We just won't be able to use it until we have a bigger apartment and are able to have people come over :) But I'm still excited, we also got a tivo from Bry's parents. super nice! :) we just have to see if we can get it to work since we don't have a land line to hook it up and start it....we'll see

Holly

my parents got a new puppy! My cousin's dog had puppies and they gave us a puppy for free. This one is a chocolate lab springer spaniel mix (both big hunting dogs, one is a hound, so she keeps sniffing around all the time!). She is a very playful puppy at only 8 weeks old. No name for her yet, but she's so cute and gets cuter every time you look at her!

Say hello!

internship

Had a good day today, told Bryan the whole thing, I'll make it so the screen names don't show up again :) and apologies before hand for the length, but A- I was super super excited (still am), and B- Bryan asked for details :) 



so i was mostly nervous about applying for an internship because of A
I have a lack of confidence (my teacher was very surprised at that)
and B I don't know how the principals and interviewers will react to
possibly having a hearing impaird teacher teaching "normal" kids
we talked about it
and I guess he's talked to a bunch of teachers about me a few times
cause he named the teachers and said that each one of them had NOTHING
to say but good things about me and how I worked with kids
and he thinks that I may even possibly get to do an internship in Kindergarten
but we have to look into that
and then he had another person come in who is in charge of the internships
we discussed my hearing loss, my speech ability and such, I don't
model and speech errors, I talk fine, and I get along well with kids
and I did very well in the preschool practicum
she feels that I should be fine if the cohort goes well and should get
an internship without a problem
then she left, my teacher asked what my big dream with this degree was
and I explained the preschool that I want to have, cue and ASL and one
where hearing siblings can be involved as well so they can communicate
with the deaf or disabled sibling on a regular basis
and so that literacy skills could start building up at an early age
so that won't get so far behind by the time they hit grade school
he then asked "what is.....cued speech?"
I laughed and said it's what i've been using in the classroom,
apparantly this whole time he thought I was using ASL
so I explained it to him, and he was fascinated, and we talked about
how it would work with other disabilities
and he said it just made sense to use it as you start learning the
language of the environment at a young age and you get the literacy skills needed that you can build on to survive in this world
he was so amazed by all of this then said
well....if you ever want to do research on this
on cueing
in collaboration with BYU
let me know and I'd be more than interested to get BYU involved

!!!!!!!


can you believe that? I was so happy

yeah, and he said to apply for the internship, it's better to apply
and then decide around the interviewing time if I want to do it or not
cause if I do my time in the school (which doesn't start until after
the application is due) and decide I'm not ready for it, then I can
pull out and there will be no record that i applied then changed my
mind or anyhing like that
and if I do want to go ahead with it and don't get an internship, then
the decision is made for me, the student teaching is the way to go
so I'm gonna apply
AND
if I get the internship
I can do the preschool student teaching I have to do, THIS summer
instead of next year
so I can just graduate right after the internship
AND he also said he would try to get it so that I could be placed in a
specific school he thinks would be ideal for me to intern in for my
cohort semester, that way, the people can get used to me and have an
idea of how I can perform despite my deafness

so I would do the cohort at the school, then hopefully apply and get
the internship there at the same school
(the one he has in mind is in Alpine, brand new school that has a
special education preschool even and he's interested to see if i can
be involved in that if they have an interest in that)

what a difference

In my dance class, we've been learning how to teach kids to dance and such. This whole semester we've been "practicing" on each other, just practicing teaching with our classmates. Today we got to practice with actual kids aged 5-9, my group got two 5 year olds and one 6 year old. Holy cow, made such a difference, it was so much easier and so much more fun. I loved it, and I had been feeling lately that teaching is going to be harder than I can handle (it is, after all, getting close to finals time so everything feels impossible), and having that teaching experience reminded me that this is what I want to do. I love it :) Kids are great and I love helping them learn new things. :) That's probably the best thing that's happened in the past week (school wise). YAY!

music class update

So I went into talk to my music teacher earlier today. It went very well. After I explained that I could vocally do the pitches myself (not in tune mind you, just the fact that I can make my voice go up and down) without a problem, but I could not hear whether the students were responding with the right pitches or not, she was totally open to making other alternatives to everything. As I suspected we have to do the vocal pitch exercise for part of the final, but in place of me doing it, she will have me write a paper on how I would ask a parent volunteer to do it and explain the steps and such through it. Very fair final, I'm way excited and glad that she was very understanding. As for teaching a song that is a game on Monday, she gave me the recording to use, and I'll just mouth the words as the song goes along (I have to have the song memorized anyway, so that's not too hard). So yeah, All's well! Thanks to everyone for the words of advice and encouragement :) 

Music Class vent

So, being an early childhood education at a hearing university (in otherwords any university but gallaudet, NTID, CSUN basically), I'm required to take some classes. One of them is Early childhood music. In this class we learn how to teach kids how to song. I've been able to do ok in the class so far, I was oral most of my life, didn't have any visual communication until I was 13, and have used it since. I speak fairly well, I had a lot more hearing as a kid, but I was still born with a moderate loss, I am now severe/profound (right on the border) and will eventually lose the rest most likely. How I feel about that is another story :) 
VERY VERY LONG post about music and me and my class, tons of background information basically, and a HUGE vent. SORRY!

I love music, I play instruments, I listen to music all the time, but when it comes to songs with words that are on the radio. In order to be able to recognize them I have to memorize the song, listen to it while reading the lyrics over and over again, probably at least 10 times, AT LEAST. I play instruments that aren't too hard to do without having to hear it. I watch my hands on the piano and the harp. The flute was another story, I can hear higher pitches more than anything else, especially speech sounds (hence why I do so well orally considering the loss I have). So the flute wasn't too hard to pick up, my problem area was the lowest octave on the flute, and I had to sit down and memorize the exact mouth positions and hand rolling back and forth and so forth, I had to do that with the other pitches as well, but esp[ecially with the lower octaves.
The point of telling you all that is to prove, I can't tell/hear the difference between pitches all that well. I just enjoy hearing music, it doesn't mean I know what key it is in, what notes are being played or even what instruments are being played. I can't understand words of songs at all the first few times I hear it. I've had more than one teacher try to teach me to compose music and turn around/close my eyes to make me to be this deaf prodigy musician that can tell the difference between C and F in the same octave, I hear no difference, none, whatsoever. 
That being said, I sing like crap. I can feel my voice go up and down, but I KNOW they aren't even the right pitches or in tune! I've sat down with a tuner a many times because I'd give a lot to be able to sing beautifully, it's one thing I've always wanted to be able to do in this life time, but I've accepted the fact that it won't happen, It's like telling a person who has no legs whatsoever, no thighs nothing, that they will be able to walk. It's just not possible, maybe technology can help with the person to walk, but technology can only go so far right now, and I am just not capable of being able to sing. Simple as that, not that hard to understand. 
SO with all that background information, here's my dilemma:
Up until this point, my teacher has just had us sing in groups, and play song games, and know written material. NOW, she expects all of us to sing and to teach the class pitches and such. I cannot do this, I am not capable of doing this. To me it's not that hard to understand. But last week, she was talking to the class how anyone who knows a language (I'm assuming she means a SPOKEN language) is not tone deaf. They know howto use the language in raising pitches in questions and such, so therefore they are not tone deaf. Then as usual she says "now, we have a special case in our classroom where one student is deaf" etc, and how deaf people are tone deaf or can be I don't remember what she said. I didn't have a problem with this because it's true. Then she refers to Helen Keller. She talks about how the teacher put her hand on the girls throat and had her feel the movement of the throat and such to know how to make her voice go up and down. My teacher believes that if she tries this method on me, I will be able to song is basically what she insinuated in the classroom. I couldn't believe what I heard/saw in the classroom. I was stunned by what she said that I didn't talk to her after class, and have since been thinking long and hard about this. 
I want to talk to her before she goes all Helen Keller on me in front of the classroom and humiliates possibly not only me, but herself as well because I don't want her to think she's failed in teaching. I want her to understand that I'm deaf, I've been through this kind of process before and it has not worked. I cannot hear pitches, simple as that. As a teacher I do not plan on teaching hearing kids or the mainstream classroom. I plan on teaching deaf kids, specficially with cued language, if there's not enough people, then ASL. I won't be teaching these kids how to sing! I'll teach them beat, I feel music is important and knowing something about it is important because it's a part of the culture that surrounds them outside of their home, so it's important to know something about it. What better way than to go with beat where they can feel the differences and learn about some musical concepts through that? 
However, if I WERE to be teaching in a mainstream classroom, a "normal" public school if youwill, I still would not teach those kids how to sing myself. I would be robbing them of the opportunity to be able to learn how to sing appropriately. I would be robbing them of wonderful musical opportunities. THOUGH i do still feel it's important for (especially) hearing kids to learn music and to sing. In that case, if there was no specific teacher to teach music to the class, then I would hire a TA or ask the school to hire a TA, or have a volunteer to come into the classroom to teach or maybe have a student from a university come and teach that ismajoring in teaching music. If I were to teach them how to sing myself, that would be highly unprofessional and completely inappropriate. 
My teacher does not seem to understand this. Granted I haven't talked to her yet, but she seems to be determined to be able to make me sing. I want to confront her before she goes Helen Keller crazy on me. I'm not sure how to approach it without offending her and making her feel like I'm insulting her teaching. I love how she teaches our class, she's a wonderful teacher and we all learn something every time. But I can't sing, thus I don't feel she should expect me to be able to sing. Ithought about suggesting teaching how to sign the song insteadx, but with the guidelines and principles that she has set up, Totally defeats the purpose of these exercises. 
I'm just not sure what to say to her. I'm going to e-mail her within the next couple of days to see if I can get a conversation going with her before I'm supposed to have a song prepared to teach to the whole class on Monday. I don't want her to think I'm just trying to get out of an assignment because it's hard, I want her to understand that I have limitations and this is one of them. I can't do this appropriately. I just don't know how to go about it. 
*sigh*
that was a very long venting post and I apologize for how long it is. But my husband is busy sleeping and it's my fault he's so tired because I brought up other issues I was having so I haven't been able to talk to him, and mymother is at work so I can't talk to her about it either and I had to vent now.

So there you have it, I am at a loss as to what to say to her without cuasing conflict, tension, or offense. *sigh* Comments would be appreciated if you make it through this.

sick AGAIN

I think I'm being punished for something I did horribly wrong that I'm unaware of. seriously. 
So I've been on the antibiotics to get rid of the kidney infection, today was supposed to be my last day on them. I got thrush meanwhile, so I have to take that medicine too, which will take quite some time. I also (sorry TMI) got yeat infection as well. 
NOW guess what I got? The stomach flu from my husband. I can't take any of meds as I cannot keep ANYTHING down. I threw up as many times today as I did last week while feeling EXTREMELY ill, the only thing missing this time, is all the fever/chill/back pain stuff, which I'm totally fine with missing out on all that. 
I just want to feel better. I've been sick for 15 days straight, can I please please just get better? *sigh*

sick update

Welp - I've made it through so far :) I haven't had to go back in for another IV or anything like that, so that's been awesome. I have my antibiotics for another 3 days I think, so *keeps fingers crossed*. Things are going relatively well, and I'm healing quite well as well. Count your many blessings. I had a great sleep last night, slept hard too, it was so nice to be back in bed with my hubby . I slept 3 nights without him (hey, our first time, so I can whine ok!), and missed having a body next to me terribly, especially since I was sick. It was so so so so very nice to have him there last night :) 
The only downer part to all of this, since my antibiotics are STRONG, and I've had a shot of it and an IV of it as well, I've developed a very bad case of thrush, so it's extremely painful to swallow or have anything on my tongue basically now. The tongue didn't start hurting until today. I've had thrush before due to taking multiple meds at a time before, this time it's just this one is kick A strong. So I called the doc to see if they would just call in a prescription for me, and they will, so I'll have the meds tmrw, or today. :) YAY! :) 
Thanks for your many "get well" wishes and cards (justaqt :) ). It made my day and helped me out a lot. I hope all of you are doing well and I hope this never happens to any of you cause it sucks. :) 
Back to work I go :)

sick

so i finally made it to the doctor last night, both my mom and i had a constant feeling of urgency to go to the doc before it closed, we made it a half hour before. I got in and my fever was 105.4, blood pressure was 74/34, pulse was 72 and i felt really crappy. They did some testing, and gave me some stuff. I have a nasty nasty kidney infection, that could get worse, so I have to be really careful right now. They gave me an antibiotic shot last night, a surposetory (sp?) and an 800 mg Iboprofen. couldn't get my antibiotic prescription filled yet becaues the pharmacioes all around us were close, thus the shots. The rest were to bring my fever down pretty much. I was there for about an hour, and it went down to 104.1, sent me home told my mom to monitor my fever, it went down and about 1 am it was normal temperature, so that was a good sign. Woke up this morning puking though, and was told that I needed to go back in tomorrow morning anyway to do a check up. I was too dehydrated so they put me on an IV, they were going to do two bags, but i started feeling better halfway through the first one, so they said one bag was good for now. They also did liquid anitbioitc through the IV. Prescribed some anti nausea stuff and some more pain pills for my back. I'm home now, I feel better my stomach hates me right now, and I wish I could drink the tallest glass of ice cold water right now and eat bratwursts. :( but alas, I shall wait for that. They also did some blood testing today to make sure the infection hadn't spread to my blood system already, if it had it would have taken a lot more aggressive action. If i had waited another day or two, I would have probably had to been hospitalized. And I thought I just had the flu, heh. In the blood testing, i'm back to being anemic again, and i have to get it back up before i even think about having children and i have to take folic acid as well. 
If my temperature goes back up to the 103-104 range, I have to go back in. If i start puking again, I have to go back in for another IV and more testing. I've been sick since last Wednesday :( I had a bladder infection, i was drinking cranberry juice and stuff, and it started feeling a lot better, and monday i pretty much felt all the way better and myself again. Monday night I got slammed with fevers and chills, and hav ebeen sick like that since then, so I thought it was just the flu, how wrong was I. heh. 
So if you could all just keep me in your prayers that no further harm will be done, i would really really appreciate it, I'm tired of being sick like this. I hope the rest of you are doing well and all is going well for you all :)
*hugs to all*

Sick

I hate being sick as a dog. I was pretty sick last week, and it was starting to clear up yesterday, then last night i got REALLY REALLY sick. I have been unable to go to my class or meet with my teacher for a lab. I want to puke, have wanted to for awhile, but my body just won't do it (it really hates puking). I fell asleep around 1030 last night, have been waking up on and off since 11 this morning, I've probably only been awake for a total of 2-3 hours. I just want to be better, I can't really afford to miss any other classes, and I need to get a project done and work. I', hoping that I'll be able to finish the project tomorrow and do everything I need to. 
One big huge great thing about this, Bryan has been taking care of me really well, and I've really appreciated it. It's been really nice to have him here to take care of me. He's currently at work, and I'll probably go back to sleep soon. 
Hope everyone had a great halloween and is doing well :)

work

So i'm teporarily working in an office for right now at the least, and my computer that they have se tup for me just won't work with what they have. So I'm using a computer that a co-worker has and is gone for the next little while. This means I'm no longer in my own little office, and am in a big office with two other people. I'm on my break right now so I could hurry and vent. They both talk on their cell phones ALL the time. It drives me crazy. They are here to work, being paid on a salary or hourly to work here, and all they do is talk on their phone. they could get SO much more work done and cause a lot of people (including me) a LOT less grief! BAH! Stupid people mixing personal business with work business. bleh
done venting
oh and 
Happy Halloween! :)

Tiredness

I'm sitting at work in a very small office, so i can listen to music and stuff. Anyway, my door is slightly open, and I've been seeing my coworkers from downstairs walking around all over the place. Apparantly there's a water leak downstairs, but they acn't figure out where it's coming from since there is no leak up here....(hmm maybe it's the toilet stuff...ew). Anyway, the office is right at the end of the hallway where the other end is a door to the stairs going downstairs. They're up her elooking for the leak in the hallway that I can see, so there's a part of the ceiling pulled down with a ladder there. one of the coworkers, i guess, forgot that the thing was down, and wasn't looking when he turned the corner.....*snickers* he ran into it and bumped the ladder over. I did have the courtesy to ask if he was ok first before I started laughing (I only started laughing when he did). That was my entertainment for today, and it's only 9:30 AM....but it was funny, I can't stop laughing, that's my sign that I'm too tired/drugged up

Goodbye Sissy

After several operations and surgeries, my dog, Sissy, has to be put down. Her nerves went crazy, knee started bending weird, stitches popped, doctor tried all that he could, she has to be put down...I'm so sad...maybe that's what's been bothering me...who knows

Missing things

I'm having for the first time since I got married (ok it's only been two and a half weeks) where I've just been missing stuff. And it's not cause I'm married, naturally I miss my family, a lot. Knowing I'll be away from them for half of the holidays is really hard, especially since we make a big deal out of the holidays, a HUGE deal, and no one does it like my family, so...yeah, with the holiday season coming up, I'm already starting to miss my family, but I so look forward to having a "first" thanksgiving as a married person same with Christmas and New Years, etc. 
I miss dancing, a lot. I'm listening to a lot of music that I could easily dance to, one problem, no room to dance the way I want to around here and all my CDs are in Heber, and I don't have a small boom box to just go and sneak into a raquetball room like I used to when I was feeling all blah like now. 
I miss the piano. I miss knowing I can still play the piano, I miss being able to play on it when I need a break. I think that's the hard part about living in a small apartment for me. No room for the extra stuff. I have a nice keyboard, but there's absoloutely no room for it, and definitely no room for my harp either or I'd use that instead of the piano. It's bad enough that I feel I have to clean int he morning and nights just cause the apartment is so small and I get claustrophobic (and I am OCD about tidying up). 
Don't get me wrong on this one, I love having a husband more than anything int he world and wouldn't trade it. I would never want anything else other than Bryan. But I still miss having girl roommates every now and then. The hard thing about that for me is, my friends always move on after a year, and I don't ever really get the same friends year after year. I think the longest I've held a friendship once I started college was a year and a half, and turns out, that friendship wasn't the best one in the end. (The friendship with Chance and Jenny is still going strong *crosses fingers*) I wasn't good at keeping friends in HS or middle school either. I had a best friend for most of HS yeah, but it still wasn't a good relationship. A lot of girls I interact with right now are in my major classes (only one class has not one, but TWO males in it), and at least 70% of them are single. They go off talking about dates and boyfriends and missionaries. I no longer have anything to say about that, and believe me, I'm glad. I just can't really talk to most of those girls cause A - most of them are 3 years younger than me (19 and that for some reason seems to make a huge difference to them since I'm in the "20s"), and B - I'm married, so that automatically makes me older. I guess the point of this pointless rambling part is, I wish I could have married friends that were closer, that I could just grab a lunch with or a dinenr with since Bryan works at night. (I also hate being home alone, I lock the door when I'm home alone, even if I'm really close to the door that I can hear someone, and even though I love in happy mormonville, I lock it cause I'm afraid my hearing won't pick anything up, and cause of weird experiences in the past few years at my apartment). 
I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. 
I'm happy, really really happy. Bryan makes me laugh and smile and feel good all the time. Just some things that I miss, just like Bryan misses Brazil, I miss my family, my music, my dancing and long for friends. 
I'm sure this seems petty and whiny or whatever else it may be, but I just needed to get it off my chest as I don't take to change well, at all. 
Just be sure not to get me wrong, I am happy :) More than I've ever been, and satisifed and content with so many things in my life, just being human and wanting a little more. :)

Sissy update

Sissy is the name of our dog. 
She is now out of danger for shock, she's lifting her head and drinking water now. 
her pelvis is in bad shape. One side is broken right where it connects to the spine, and the other side is broken all the way through the pelvis near the leg. The lower leg on one leg is COMPLETELY broken, and there are several fractures throughout the rest of her pelvis, it's the only part that got ran over. She will go through surgery for the weekend and will be back on Monday. She will be unable to function completely on her own for about a month, so we'll have to carry her outside and stuff for her to potty and eat. At least she'll live :) 

The story of how she got ran over. We live in a very big open area with very few neighbors, and our road doesn't go all the way through to the highway like most people think, so we get a lot of drive by people int he neighborhood. My grandma was coming home from work, the two dogs were out by the car following her into the driveway, a stranger had been tailing my grandma the whole way down the lane, and as soon as she started turning into the driveway, he stepped on it and swerved around her, just barely catching the back end of Sissy. Bumped her out so she fell then ran over her back legs with the back tire. He kept driving down the lane, realized he couldn't get to the highway that way, and turned around, and barely slowed down and shouted out a cross apology and sped off.

At least she's alive.

Sissy :(

No matter how ridiculous this sounds, I mean it sincerely. 
My dog/puppy, well the family dog/puppy just got ran over a few hours earlier. And it's not looking good, she's not dead, but she's not getting a bright look into the future either. She was in too much shock tonight for them to do anything with her such as x rays and stuff. so if you could, and if you take this seriosuly and not laugh, keep her in your prayers, she means a lot to the family and to me and I know to bryan as well. She;s a great dog, and not even a year old yet (this month is her birthday i think). 
so yeah, prayers are welcomed.

mrs mulholland

wow...

October 7th, 2005

15 hours and 10 minutes until I'm officially Mrs. Mulholland.......*DANCE* YAY! :)

mmm hmmm

and I get married Friday.
Holy cow, this seriously just hit me late tonight that I get married THIS WEEK. Not next week, not two weeks, but THIS WEEK. and NOT ONLY this week, but in three days! Holy smokes!
Despite previous post (Thought I had messed a relationship between two people, but have been comforted and come to peace with the issue, and lyssa, good job on the quote! I thought it was fitting for my situation:) not that extreme of course), I am extremely happy and extremely excited. 
Only downers?
Loads of Homework
I have a huge scab on my knee from when I fell last week. I fell HARD and it's not going away. 
I'm getting sick, I've been shivering violently all night long, though that has several factors to it, but I've been sneezing like crazy as well and getting nasty headaches. 
I still feel fat, BUT the positive about that, with all the stress lately, I've lost 7 lbs in the last three days, unhealthy I know, but it's definitely not on purpose, not when you see what I eat when I DO actually eat. 

Positive
I'm madly in love, more than ever before :D (cheezy I know)
Bryan and I have our apartment, most of my stuff is moved over. 
We've already started receiving presents and cards, makes it seem all the more real, but won't open them until after the wedding day :) 
I was able to get enough money to pay for rent and get things taken care of.
As I quote someone I am now "sporting g-lines". 
I've got someone who I know loves me unconditionally, and lucky me, he wants to be with me forever. 
I've gotten caught up with my homework for this week, just need to get Monday's assignments done (I have one big project done with that already, thank goodness). 
I did great on my performance final, and pretty much ok on a midterm, couldn't have expected more with the small amount of 30 minutes I spent studying for it. I just hate knowing that if I had more time I would have done better. 
Things are getting paid off for the wedding, things are getting more solid. The only thing, mom is having a very hard time finding a dress, I hope she can find one tmrw, seems like a silly thing to pray for for her, but she doesn't need anymore stress in her life than there already is. 
My sisters are so excited and that just makes it all the more exciting for me, they were both smiling and giggling with me tonight after I've had a very very long tiring exhausting day (and the day before and last night were very much draining my energy as well). 
Did I mention I'm in love? :)

exhaustion

I'm working at my computer. 
I get up to go upstairs to get something, I forget what now. 
I take two steps.
The third step, my foot swishes by my pajama pant leg.
Ah....but it does not completely pass my foot.
My big toe gets stuck in the pant leg, just as i start to lift my other foot up to take another step.
I fall on one knee, landing on nothing else, just my one knee, hands soon follow after, then the other knee.
I skinned it bad, part of pajama cotton are stuck in skinned knee. 
Knee is now swollen.
It hurts to walk.
Curse my clumsiness.
What made it worth it all?
The image of me falling, even though I just appeared to trip over nothing and just...well...fell.
Dad is down here too, I rolled over onto my back after taking a minute to breathe, and saw my dad's face of complete and utter confusion.
Priceless 
Yes, I am laughing out loud while I read this, perhaps I may be too tired....:)

le sigh

I am so freaking tired. It's been a long week and it's only 2:10 AM Wednesday morning, I just finished an assignment that took an hour and a half longer than I thought it would take. *sob* I have to get up at 530 to get ready to go to school....I also found out that not only do I have a final the day after the honeymoon, but I also have another paper due....*pulls hair* yeah, we just had to pick a time when it would be exam happy time for me (I have a mid term the monday before we get married and another final the day after). I also have to read at least 3 or 4 more chapter books before we get married as well....I just pray I'll have energy to stay awake through the ceremony at the least!
so tired....
(i hate my professor tonight, he's the author of the book, the book comes with a cd that we have to work with and supposedly print from, he made it on a mac, he made the program with another colleague....and it sucks, other than that, he's a great teacher. I now know more than I ever thought I would about picture books).

Getting close!

one week I get endowed, two weeks, i get married. :D

Cafe

So I went to this Cafe in little ol Heber to get baklava and a French Vanilla Italian Soda (the owner herself made it this time, YAY!), and she mentioned how she hadn't seen me there for awhile, so I told her I was busy with school and work and wedding plans. We talked about the wedding stuff, then when she hands me my drink she goes "OH! wait!" and grabs this multi colored sprinkle thing that has LOVE labeled on the outside and sprinkles some in the drink, and then grabs another multi colored sprinkle thing that has MAGIC on the outside, and sprinkles that in. "There, now you can't say I haven't given you anything for your wedding! I gave you magic and love! Good luck!" 
I just thought it was cute :)

Addresses

28 addresses. I don't have any of my relatives addresses (well most of them). Only 7 of those addresses are non relatives, and I have been able to find e-mails for all but one of them....and that last one I have to make a phone call for that one. then the bridal shower I should be able to get all 21 addresses if not from themselves then from their mothers. :) 
It's a lot of work, and has taken a lot out of me, but it's good to know I'm getting closer to get the list complete before the invitations come so that I can be sure to put the right inserts in what cards, etc. :) Getting closer, 16 more days!!!!!! :)
*Edit - It's times like this that make me feel like I know way too many people and have no clue how I came into contact with so many, yet, I do keep constant contact with a lot of them. So weird.

Hair for bridal shots

Did bridals today, talk about curly! I also had a TON of fun, don't know how I'm going to choose just one picture for the guest book table....we may have two :) (no these are not bridal pictures of me in the dress, just the back of my hair :D I'm not ruining the surprise for anyone!)

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b267/slvrchic83/Boredom%20Takes%20Over%20the%20World/Back.jpg

I couldn't find the other ones!

Overdue Update

Thursday, Friday and Saturday were such busy days, I can hardly believe I even had a Sunday (which was busy too).
Uber long update:

Thursday I did homework all morning at my mom's work (had to catch a ride with her since my clutch broke down on my car a few months ago, and won't be fixed for a little while longer due to expenses on the wedding :) which is totally worth it in my opinion). Then afterwards we had to head over to Salt Lake City to present a Cued Language presentation at the ALDAcon conference (Association of Late Deafened Adults conference...national conference). after which we had to come straight home and work like crazy on some newspaper stuff for Studies Weekly.
Friday, I had to get up and catch a ride with my brother Michael to Salt Lake City (SLC) to drop me off at Bryan's while Michael was on his way to work. After that Bryan and I went and picked up the engagement pictures on disk, looked for rings for him, finally found one! Then we went and put my name on his checking account, then got the tuxes set up for all the men at Men's Wearhouse. After which he dropped me off at the ALDAcon again to make a presentation with a coalition that I am on about what we do in the state of Utah. After that, we dropped off the engagement pictures at the invitation lady's place, which took longer than we thought it would, then we sped to provo where Bryan did some stuff with my brother Michael while I was doing homework for three hours, went out to dinner around 930 with my family, and went home (made it home aorund midnight). I was exhausted.
Saturday I had to get up at 7:00 to get ready to leave at 8:00 to go start looking for dresses, my first and only appointment was at 9:00. My mom and sisters came with. Luckily, I found everything I wanted in that ONE store, and the dress fit perfectly, no alterations needed, nothing, it's awesome! I'm really excited. I tried to find a pic of it online, but I can't find one, so guess I'll just have to wait until I have pictures from the wedding. Then we went looking for bridesmaids dresses, what a freaking pain in the neck. We may end up having them made for us instead of buying them from a store. We did a girl's lunch, then dropped me off at home in which I had 30 minutes to shower and change and stuff for my bridal shower at 3. Went there, and was there until 730 (the shower itself was over at 430, just got so caught up in chatting with all the girls, that it started dying away around 7). Came home, went out to dinner with bryan, and did homework for the rest of the night.
Sunday, Church, nap, homework for the rest of the day, and i rewarded myself to watch part of Ocean's Eleven with Bryan, that was nice.

I can't believe it.....only 24 more days until I get married. :) I'm so excited! YAY! :)

Stress

Well I guess it's not really a why do I do this, but more of a, how in the world do I manage to make myself so busy? This week has been crazy all week, and tonight, I started breaking down and was ready to have a huge fight over something small and ridiculous, so my mom took me out to eat to help me to just calm down and breathe for a bit, it helped....a lot. Still, when I got home, I was getting so uptight and frustrated, that I got mad at my chair cause I couldn't get the stupid handle to pull out so that I could rock back and forth in my chair. Eventually got to the point where I was sitting on the floor and pulling on the handle while pushing the chair with my feet, yeah, that insane. I got weird looks from family members all around. But So far, I hav ebeen able to do every assignment and reading before the class starts, and I have not fallen asleep in any class, and it's the second week, so that's a very very good sign. I also actually enjoy all the classes, and the homework, it's just so much to do, I can't wait to get the independent study class done then I'll have 6 classes instead of 7 to do. But, this is the happiest I've been in a long long time, and I'm enjoying it. I feel I'm doing well so far with classes (knocks on wood), I enjoy the classes, I'm getting things done, even though I still have billions to do. I've managed to go on no more than 4 hours of sleep every night this week, which is something I haven't done in a very long time. I keep telling myself that once I'm married, things will calm down cause then I won't have things to do with the wedding every weekend, that's part of what's driving me up the wall cause there's just so much to do and everything is just so freaking expensive. 
and my cat just bit me. ow.

Good things

1. Got invited to be the Early Childhood Representative for the Student Advisory Council at BYU, got invited by the program director himself (also my instructor)!
2. Bryan and I found a place to live and now have an apartment to live in, he moves in October 1st. :D
3. May have found the reception center to have the reception in near the Salt Lake temple, gorgeous, and very victorian. I love it :) 
4. 33 more days until the wedding. :) 
5. I got a bright red day planner, a purple back pack, and a pink and white striped binder. :D I have to be a girl sometimes. :)

**EDIT
Also 6. My friends in LA are safe, luckily all were out of the town when Katrina happened.

California

First off, if you're bored enough to see all the photos from this trip to SF, go here:and the pics start near the bottom with the first picture being BayBridge. :) 
http://s21.photobucket.com/albums/b267/slvrchic83/California%20Trip/
Now, I'm home, long car ride, but I wasn't driving so I was lucky enough to sleep for 2 of the 10ish hours of the drive. it was nice. brief summary of what we did. Friday - drove there. Saturday - Went to napa county fair. Sunday - Went to church, ran errands, and ate chinese. Monday - Went to SF and took picutres, Lombard St, Golden Gate and ate lunch with Dale. Tuesday - Beach in Santa Cruz (I think), very very very cold. Wednesday - Gave the two big dogs baths...long story and I want to kill Bryan. :) Thursday - Bry worked on the car with his dad, I went to pick up Bri and Jay with Bry's mom, then went out for Bry's birthday dinner, came home and relaxed. Friday - Great America after being lost for over an hour..not Bry's fault though. Saturday - Went to Yosemite, took Jay and Bri home, went home. Sunday - Drove home. 
Very short summary, overall, I had fun, it was long, but I had fun. :) 
Now back to reality...and YAY Engagement pics are being taken tmrw!!! YAY! :) only 45 more days til I get married! :D

solution

perfect solution to an awful day

Call it cheesy all you want :P


-Chicken club car sandwich from Dairy Keen (yes, Keen, not Queen)
-Vanilla coke
-French fries WITH fry sauce
-Finish 3 lessons promised to self to finish before Friday night (did it Thursday night YAY!)
-Snickers shake (still haven't eaten yet, going to after I start the 4th lesson for this week :) ).
-Sight read/practice piano music that came in mail today
-Have SO's b-day present arrive in mail today
-Be told by professor you are right when you're sure you're wrong, but you cannot find any other reason and now reassured you aren't stupid after all
-Skittles Smoothies
-Diet Pepsi
-Have a folding clothes party with sister while watching movie below
-Man of the House (great movie with Tommy Lee Jones)
-Catch the end of the meteor shower after movie (watched alone as sister was asleep)
-Find another state quarter for quarter collection, only 10 more to be back up to date with all quarters since 1999
-Do more laundry and fold more clothes, begin packing for long anticipated CA road trip, leaving Friday night
-Go to bed after long, exahusting day/almost content and satisifed night.

the only key ingredient missing?

Bryan.

Blanding

So it's been a while since I've truly updated on anything. It's been quite busy. I left last week Tuesday (july 26) to go teach an Intro class in Blanding, was there until Thursday, got home Thursday night (drove with my brother, and it's one of the most boring drives you could ever think of). The day I got home, There was a guest at my house already fromt he night before. A friend of my sister's was staying until EFY started on Monday, we also had the boy from England fly in the same night I got home. He's here until the 17th I believe. So we've been trying to keep them entertained and get work done and so forth. Then Monday my sister's friend left, later that afternoon we all left to Ogden for the cueing camp, Camp CueTah. We all worked there doing something, whether it be teaching, video production or counselor. We just got back at 1130 pm last night. We now have not only the boy from England, but a woman form Minnesota with her daughter who has Down Syndrome with us for now. They stayed the night last night, they leave in a few hours. We also have a man from Washington staying with us as well, he's here until Monday. Then on Tuesday or Wednesday mom has asked me to see if I can get the boy from England to a water park or something (tonight we're doing a parade and a rodeo). Then Thursday my family leaves for Lake Powell, all but me and one of my sisters, she has to work. Then I leave for California with Bryan Friday night, and will be gone until the 21st. I'm looking forward to it, but I wouldn't mind having a few days at home where the house was just back to normal. yeah...I just want the normal household back for now, it'd be nice. 
Camp was great, lots of fun stuff happened, update more about that later as now I have to go shopping to entertain more guests....:)

hair

Got my hair done today

Highlighted and cut it. 

This first pic doesn't show much of a difference in my cut I guess, but my bangs are completely flat in there, I've always had them somehwat curled/hickish i guess one would say. It makes a difference to me in real life :) Before I cut them, my bangs were covering my eyes if that gives you an idea. The rest of my hair was just trimmed to fit bry's request to keep my hair long
THis last pic is just to show the contrast for those who care :) She did it much more blonde this time thatn i've ever had it before. 

Sissy

I worked late again last night. I went to bed at 2, so not too late, but I woke up every hour, pretty much right on the dot after I went to bed. Drove me nuts, so I finally got up at 7 just cause it was just becoming annoying to wake up every hour (note it took about 10-15 minutes to go back to sleep each time). Tired and rough night, not just from sleep, but things in general. But for some odd reason, I just feel a lot better today. Did a lot of praying/meditating/reading this morning. Helped a lot, and I feel much better, but I'm still exhausted. course the gym didn't help me feel anymore awake either...:). 
One of the dogs, Sissy, a golden retriever/yellow lab mix, is just darn cute every time she goes to sleep. I've provided a picture :) 



She's just so cute

earwigs

 it's all girls here tonight since dad is at work and michael is on a camp out and brent hasn't come home yet, maybe tmrw. We went to dairy keen for dinner, got shakes, and rented 4 movies. We only watched one tonight of course, the others people can watch with us, but we had to get an ultimate chick flick: "Message In A Bottle". Makes me cry every time I see it, I confess! we just finished watching it, and it was a nice break from having to try so hard to find everything for work. 
While watching the movie we had all the lights off. My mom gets up to go somewhere and turns the light on. Bryan you remember all those earwigs on the porch the other night? well yeah, about half of those were in the frontroom/entry way. EWEWEWEWEWEW my sister immediately went and got the hand vacuum and I swear we sucked up at least 20 of them. Sissy, our puppy/dog, helped by eating a few. It was just gross and UGH gross! There were some on the wall, and I hadn't seen any in the basement recently, so we all immediately went down to the basement since we're all wide awake (well 3 of us anyway, one sister conked out since she HATES chick flicks), to do more work and stuff. As soon as I sit down..an earwig crawled out of under my keyboard. SO FREAKING GROSS. I have the heebie bajeebies. bleh. We can't afford to have a professional come and get them cause of some recent financial/car troubles. I just hope they will go away! ew

Edit: (45 minutes later)
so yeah, i complained about ONE earwig under my keyboard, after i moved my backpack and a couple of boxes, i went on a killing rampage with the ever handy fly swatter. I lost count of how many i killed at 45. GROSS. Yes i did count them, it reminded me of Legolas and Gimli in LOTR, geeky I know, but hey it's 130 AM

Teacher

I have decided that my mind/body knew that me being a teacher for a career would be the best thing for me without me realizing some of the reasons why. 
A - I love kids, absoloutely love them. I'm still trying to get over my shyness with kids, part of it is due to the fact that I can't hear them that well cause of my hearing loss, but I still love them nonetheless. 
B - I get to use creativity, my usage of creativity has been dulled out over the past few years, and I need to use it again, and I like trying to figure out how to make things fun but purposeful at the same time
C - THIS is the realization I just made now. Being a teacher, I can move around and interact and so forth. I get so restless doing a computer desk job nowadays. I never had a major problem before, but over the past year, it's been really really hard for me to just sit down at a computer and work for a job. I get bored so fast and so easily. 
D - I think the learning process of kids (I want to be a preschool teacher) is just amazing. How much they are capable of learning at that age just blows me away every time I study it. Just amazing. 
So yes, I am going to be a teacher, just the process of getting there that takes work! :)

Wedding

Bad news (i always like to end on a good note if possible): I gained 5 pounds since Thursday due to lots of eating over the weekend. i had been really good about not snacking in between meals and going to the gym everyday Mon-Fri. Snacking was beyond out of control this past weekend, and I didn't go to the gym yesterday, I thought just maybe I could count boating since tubing takes a lot of energy to get on and hold on when you're laying on your stomach and are only holding on to two handles with your hands, using your arm strength to keep you on, but alas, it was not so. So that's a major bummer, as I was about to hit my 10 lb loss. :(
Good news: I got to meet with my best friend from hs today. It was great catching up, course I had a motive too, but it finally got her to have a lunch with me :) Her sister has her own floral business, and I've seen her work and I absoloutely love her work, I mean LOVE it, so I met with her after Ren and I had some lunch (chatted for an hour and a half), then went to her sister's to talk about flowers. With all 7 men's boutoniers, 4 bridesmaid bouquets, 2 mother's corsages, and my great big (it's gonna be huge!!!!) bouquet, it's 305 with tax. GREAT price (yes that does include roses in all of the bouquets!)! I am so excited. Course with how I want the cake, it'll hvae a lot of roses on it, and roses aren't cheap, so it'll be another 150 for the roses on the cake, but still 460ish all in all? holy crap so nice! YAY! Now I'm just looking into how much it would cost to rent stuff and decorate the cultural hall of a stake center compared to getting a reception center. And now that we have the colors all set, and generally have a good idea of what we want the bridesmaids to wear and pretty much know what we want the groomsmen to wear, things are starting to feel better. And the budget management is looking better as I go along. Just need to either find a great but cheap reception center (VERY hard to find)/rentals that will make a cultural hall feel like a real reception, music and food. I know what I want for center pieces and table clothes. Just gotta run it through to make sure it works for everyone and see if i can find the glass boxes I want somewhere first for a good price. Even have an idea of how I want the table to be set up for the guest book signing in...I'm just getting more and more excited about this, and most of these decisions have been mine and bry's ideas rather than moms butting in, so it's way nice *knocks on wood* :) 
This fourth of july weekend was awesome. Saw Bryan Thursday. Went boating Saturday, went on a fun date/dinner with bry that night, Sunday was with my family and Bry, Monday was boating (Bry came along YAY!), and just hanging out and relaxing with Bry afterwards and saw the fireworks here in town, which weren't actually half bad. I always forget that my town does pretty decent fireworks for how small we are. I got to see him 4 days in one week time, that was awesome. :) Won't have that again for awhile though, but hey only....3 months and 2 days until the wedding (which is also 94 days left, but who's counting? ;) ). 
I'm just happy, and it's been nice to be happy for a long period of time :)

vent

Tired of being me. 


I'm having one of those I suck horribly days. I've already managed to piss off someone extremely close to me this morning before 10 AM. 
I've found out also that all the work I've been doing for my parents, well, it's wrong. The other company just decided to change the format of what I'm working on, again, so now I have to start all over....that's 308 files I have to reformat now. 
I also managed to miss something about my payment, it went through earlier than it was supposed to (online bill pay), and I haven't been paid yet. 
I've also had a couple of guys that I dated once before basically tell me I was a jerk, then I decided to venture on to ircle out of complete and utter boredom yesterday, and ran into somebody that hates my guts for something that happened 6 years ago, sad thing? I still strongly dislike her for what she said to me. 
This week has also been a harsh realization of how insecure i really am, and i'm hating myself for it, which has led me to think if i ever ask for too much, and before I never thought I did, but now, maybe I do, and for some odd reason it's really crushing me inside that I might be asking for too much. I also hate that I do have a tendency to do things just to please people, but then when I go and try to do something to please myself or do something for me or want something for me, it backfries or gets in someone's way somehow, or gets a negative reaction from those around me. Every time I'm completely honest about how I feel, there's an argument. 
I want to be 19 again, when I was truly happy for just a couple of months. You know when those couple of months were Bryan, if you don't, then you'll know by reading my xanga. Where did I go wrong? and don't worry, you're the only one who can read this. I figured, the e-mails have got to stop, but I need to let you know how I'm doing, the e-mails are annoying you, at least this way, you can just read this when you actually have time instead of having to go through a bunch of e-mails interrupting you at work or something like that. It's the best way I could think of to get what I needed to talk about off my chest without getting too much in your way. I'm sorry i got you mad, I'm sorry i made you even more mad this morning. I'm sorry. 

engagement

having a conversation with a friend of mine who just got engaged, getting married In august. he's been engaged for...a month i think or less. this is what he had to say:

"I hate engagements. I hate the idea of them. It's beyond me that we allow Satan months to use his 6,000+ years of experience. It's like..."hey satan...here's your chance to really screw things up. Give it your best shot!" It's so not worth it for some damn receptions. Sigh.... but anyway....I can definitely tell you that there's gonna be major fireworks on your honeymoon. I mean...6 months of waiting? FIREWORKS, I tell you!"

It made me laugh :) and make me think that I really am crazy.

Wedding planning

I sit here and I look at this "countdown to a perfect wedding" thing, where basically it gives a break down of how far in advanced you should do everything, etc. I want to cry with how much there is to plan. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited, very excited, but I hate the idea of how much it may cost, I don't have a budget yet, I asked three weeks ago, and my parents weren't able to give me one, so I don't know what I can take care of. I've been trying to work on the address list for invitations and such, but my brother and sister-in-law haven't gotten back to me on the relatives one, (btw if you want an invitation and i haven't gotten an address from you yet, let me know please. :) ). Bryan and I have done at least the majority of our registry, I don't know if we still have some stuff left, oh wait, yes we do now that I think about it, but we have the majority of it done. so that's good. *pff* just seeing all this stuff to do, makes me feel stressed about it, and I don't get married until october (yes, i know, not that long, but it sure does feel like it's FAR away). *sigh* any advice from anyone out there might be nice :) yet, it's gonna be a wedding! YAY 8dance*

preschool

I'm really depressed about this, but at the same time relieved. 
the preschool isn't going through after all. :( I was really excited to get some experience in by doing stuff on my own and such. But Seems it was too short of a notice for all the parents out there. One parent was dedicated to everything, so she'll be helping me to start preparing things for next year. I'm really sad. I miss kids a lot. 
On the othe rhand, it means a lot less stress. I have one job, but I may need to get another as I also do work for another job so I can get all the money I need to save up for stuff for the wedding. I love money, I hate having to work so hard to get it. But that's life. But at least it means I won't have to travel back and forth to SLC so much without seeing Bryan, cheesy I know, but it would drive me crazy knowing he's within driving distance but either in school or at work and not be able to see him. Oh well. At least no stress will be coming from it.

My friends!!! *drumroll*
I give you.....BOREDOM HAS TAKEN OVER THE HOUSEHOLD!
*cymbal crash*
http://s21.photobucket.com/albums/b267/slvrchic83/Boredom%20Takes%20Over%20the%20World/

(note: This boredom took over after a couple of hours of playing with some logic puzzles...)

Hawaii

Hawaii was good. Had it's ups and downs, but I've returned in one piece, with only a slightly burnt back/shoulders. No other sunburns, amazing. 
Took all day to travel there,we left my house at 9 am utah time, but we got at the hotel around 11 Hawaii time, in other words, 7 pm utah time. 
Went and did baptisms at the temple, which is whole nother story in itself that i doubt i'll ever get to on here. :) then the beach. (I'm doing this by day, this is day 2) Then my brother showed up that night. 
Day 3, ummm...dang...what did we do.....this is taking me forever to figure out what we did....wow. I know Day 3 was saturday...hrmph. HAH, just went and asked mom :) Saturday we went to Pearl Harbor. We saw the submarine, and i can't remember what it was called there (no not the Arizona, we saw another exhibit we had to pay for). But we got to go in and around the submarine. It was cool, especially since my dad was in the navy, as was my mom's dad, and my dad's grandpa. My dad was on a nuclear submarine, so it was bigger than the one we got to see. The one we saw was only made to submerged when running away from the enemy since i thad guns on top and all. The longest my dad was submereged on a submarine was 75 days, this sub was made to go no longer than 12 hours. Then we went to see the Arizona memorial, we found my dad's grandpa's brother's name on there. So no direct lineage, but it is my great-grandpa's brother. Then we went to the beach again :) Then we to the swamp meet in the Aloha stadium nearby. We spent quite somet ime there, it was fun, I love flea markets. :) Then we went to the beach and dinner, and walked around town for a bit. (we stayed in waikiki). 
Day 4 - We went to church. Man, the native men there are super friendly to the guys, didn't really talk to the women. The native women however, man, they were cold. The only women in RS that even acknowledge me were the white women, and ironically, all from Utah and have been to heber at oe point or another. All five of them, cracked me up. Then half the family went to see a big waterfall, my brother i guess was too sore to go hike, but hew as the driver of the other car, so not everyone could go, so i stayed, i'll just have to see it next time, should there be one. Then there was an hour and a half long parade near the hotel, so we watched that, and holy long parade, and VERY VERY SO VERY different. It was weird for me not to see the rodeo queen in the parade. :) Saw some majorettes, made me miss baton very very much, but i'll never give up music for anything else for as long as i can. :) Then we just chilled at the hotel
Day 5 - dang it was a monday....hmm...what did we do. OH Snorkeling, I have to say that was one of the big highlights of the trip. Coral doesn't look all that sharp, but boy is it. I barely touched it, and i managed to stab my hand, get four punctures in my foot and scrap both legs. Not bad, just didn't think i would get hurt, I thought I was extra careful. Then we went to the world famous shrimp shack. First time I ever had to peel my own shrimp. It was good, then we went to the polynesian cultural center. I wish I had had ALL day there instead, we didn't get to see everything, so if i go back to hawaii, i'm seeing that again for sure. That took up the rest of the night, we all crashed at the hotel after that. 
Day 6 - Breakfast Buffet/Omelette Bar right by the beach. Was awesome, morning swim at the beach until the afternoon. Sisters wanted to check out china town, they were sorely disappointed. :) We then did some walking around, went to watch the sunset. BEAUTIFUL, barely made it in time due to dad getting lost which was getting pretty darn funny cause of how my mad my brother gets at everything. It was funny, shouldn't hve been, but it was. We were able to take last minute pictures, that sun sets FAST. we didn't even have 5 minutes to take pictures by the time we fund a beah to take pics at. We hung out awhile there, then went to a REALLY CRAPPY SUCKY buffet dinner. Packed, and went home for Day 7. 
I'm purposely leaving out all the bad stuff that just made me really grumpy at times. :) I've complained about them enough, thati should suffice for now. Generally, great time in hawaii :) I just hate facing reality when i've been gone for a long period of time. I have tons to do, ad it makes me want to cry....bad.

Weirdness

So I'm sitting there talking to my mom about preschool stuff. A guy I wanted to date for almost two years, and never got to (very long story), texted me out of the blue tonight. I forgot I still had his phone number on my cell. Anyway, the last time I talked to him was way back In january where basically I told him I was practically engaged and doing well. We text a little, then he calls, and we talked for awhile. Basically it was a conversation of him saying he wished he had asked me out earlier, etc. I've had these before. And me reassuring him this time that i was not going to break my engagement off, just made me feel really good about my decision to marry bryan. Like i knew i wanted to marry him before, but I think I needed this little reassurance lately, after all, life isn't always pretty :). It was also cool, cause the whole time I knew this guy, I wanted to date him so bad, and was dating other guys and had 2 or 3 boyfriends while i knew/liked this guy. Each time he would start talking to me, didn't matter what guy i was with, i just wanted to date him. This time though, i just laughed and chuckled in my head and had no desire to be with him like that in anyway. It would be so fun to sit down and talk with him, but after this conversation, i'm not sure if it would be a good idea on his part :) It was just nice. But what made everything more weird, as soon as I get off the phone with him and get on the computer, not too long after I talked to Chance, two other guys msg me, both who i've dated before, asked me if i ever wondered if i should've kept dating them, etc, whatever happened, and why we're not together now. Weird. My sister then got an e-mail where a girl she hadn't talked to in almost 6 years e-mailed her out of the blue as well. I dunno, just a weird night. Good, but weird. :)

Addiction

I guess the headaches seem to hav ebeen from not taking lortab as I seem to be addicted to it at the moment (Having been on it for a week, I'm sure my body feels like it needs it). Went to the doc, did blood and urine tests this time, confirmed i don't need anti bioitics, it's just a virus that I just have to wait out. The two antibiotics were what were making me feel sick pukey and crampy and kidneys hurting. So hopefully that goes away soon as I've been instructed to not take those anymore. Just have to take more lortab than i have been normally when I feel the need to (such as now as the headache is building up and everything is fuzzy :) ). So mostly the same....the lump is the lymph nodes with infection, I have to wait that out as well. joy. :) Sad part that literally made me cry (course I get very depressed when I'm sick for a long period of time), I may be sick for another two weeks, I go to hawaii in just under a week.....oh well, such is life i guess. :)

Sick..achey

continuous migraines
achey body everywhere
i want to die
fever/chills/hot flashes
suddenly have a lump on my neck that's been there for 4 days
may go to doctor for the third time for this tomorrow.
i want to cry, but if i do, it'll make my head hurt more
did i mention i want to die?
oh and infection from a sliver on my hand that won't go away either.
it sucks

Lortab

This is my first time on lortab. Guess doctor thought my migraines were bad enough, no only are they reoccurring for the past 3 days, but they hurt like no other. So he gave me lortab.
Lortab + Teaching Cued American English = BAD idea
It didn't kick in until 2 1/2 hours after I took it. Luckily mom was there to take over as we were co teaching for the night. It ended up with me rolling my eyes around and slurring my speech. She had to explain to them what happened, especially since I was on BYU campus teaching BYU students....yeah
lortab...wow.

sick

My leg (right leg) is still recovering from the allergy reaction i got from being sunburned/getting too much sun. It's still retaining water, and i guess i had my left leg on top of my right while i was sleeping, so when i woke up there was a huge indentation on my right leg. it took me a minute to figure out how in the world i did that, especially since i do have a tendency to have weird things to my body. I got a migraine last night for the second time ever, the first time was in seventh grade. This may not seem like a big deal to many of you, but i don't deal well with pain that isn't a bump on the head/bruise/cut/broken bone. I don't like aches, and thus I don't deal well with it, lucky for me, cramps last...12 hours and that's it. I think that's why. Anyway, so i got a migraine while shopping with bryan yesterday, near the end of shopping, and it got worse on my way home to heber from slc, and i didn't get a chance to go to bed until 2 am, and I got up at 645 am...needless to say, it didn't go away. even after taking 4 excedrin migraine pills. it continued until i got home from my brother's outdoor graduation. now it's just a splitting headache, which is better :) just not fun still as we have 40 people upstairs inside/outside the house for my brother's graduation luncheon with other families and stuff. I am not in a social mood, and this is my escape for about 15 minutes. :) it should be over in the next hour, hopefully. 
i was in a conversation with my mom and another mom. they were talking about how they wer ehaving a hard time with their sons graduating today. my mom says "i never have a hard time with the girls, emilie graduated, i didn't cry at all. when i even drove her to provo to move there, i still didn't cry." not sure how to take that *shrugs* oh well, maybe she just feels a closer connection to her boys? 8shrugs* who knows, now probably isn't a good time for me to ponder it too much. 
i miss bryan.

Moderator

SO I was a moderator at a meeting on Thursday, and we had a real time captionist there, along with ASL interpreters, Cued Language Transliterators, and Assistive Listening Devices. No one on the coalition (which i am part of, as i am the moderator) remembered to take minutes of the meeting. SO the real time captionist was nice enough to give us a copy of what she had typed throughout the whole meeting and gave it to me on a floppy disc. The first thought in my mind "now watch, this will screw everything up" but I took it anyway and decided to try and make it work. Well I just remembered I had that disc today and needed to get to it. I put it in the computer, and it says it needs to be formatted. I thought the woman did it on a PC laptop, so I have no idea why it needs to be formatted (that and macs don't have floppy's?) Then I try to eject the disc to try it on another computer, maybe at the library or something, and somehow the metal sliding part got raised in the drive, so now I can't even take it out without ruining the disc.....hrmph. Every time I touch a PC something like this goes wrong, and the problem is not between the keyboard and the chair :P hrmph.

Allergies

So, I did get sunburned, a lot more sunburned than I thought I did. I'm surprised I didn't get shingles yet from too much sun, but it seems my body has taken another route to show the allergies this time. My legs swelled up a bit, and it hurt to walk saturday and yesterday. bry finally suggested to take a cool bath, and i felt a lot better after that. I went to sleep at 1030 last night and woke up at 10 this morning. my knees are swollen again, but the rest of my legs are fine, just the knees. And it no longer feels like i have fire for blood when I walk, which is a good thing. :) I'm going to go swimming with my brother later tonight to get some form of exercise, it's really bugging me that i can't be out weeding today, but oh well, swimming will have to do. 
Seems that my plans for a summer preschool is finally starting to get going. It'll start mid June and end mid August. It's a cueing preschool for deaf and hearing kids. I'm excited, yet nervous, but hey, at least i'll have the experience needed if i should go onto a masters right? :)