Feeling buff

I am woman! Hear me roar! *grins*

Bryan's car wouldn't work for awhile as the alarm would go off for some unknown reason. This happened the night before he left to go to CA. Talk about frustrating. Well, I got sick of wondering about when our parking lot would be paved and painted, (it is now paved, but not yet painted) as I didn't want to have to ask people to help me push Bryan's car back and forth once again. I was getting worried about it being onthe street as this past week was the second time it had one of those markings on the tire to see how long it's been there. So I decided to fiddle with it today. Bryan's dad had suspected it would be a blown fuse. So I checked every single fuse I could find in the car. Well, there was no blown fuse, but the car now works! YAY! I know, no big deal, but hey, it's a lot more than I ever expected to do! :D

Missing the hubby

no real convo with bry tonight...an exchange of....maybe 3 or 4 texts....:( (I know I'm taking this for granted, but still, I'm alone, no kids, no friends around here....) :(

weird nightmare

I don't even want to talk about the first one.

The second one, the basics, I was about to marry Bryan in the temple, found out I couldn't because apparantly I was already married to my cousin just so I could be sealed to a child as I was told that I couldn't have children ever. The whole rest of the dream was just Bryan really upset and hurt at me and me being devastated and not knowing what to do. Doesn't sound so bad when writing it down, but I woke up REALLY concerned and questioning myself whether I was sealed to Bryan or not, thank goodness I am, heh. 

I miss him.

More positive?

Things have been better since my last post. I had to sit down and read scriptures for awhile, and came across this one: D&C 50:40-43. I forgot how much I love what it says there. basically it says that we are not to fear as we are children of God. This helped me to remember that no matter what...I'm loved. I then remembered last year at some point I was struggling and was wondering if God could really love everyone. Bryan had told me to go back and highlight every scripture that talks of love. I did do that that night, I didn't think it would affect me much. But the other night, it sure did. i went back and read every single one of those. it helped me to not feel alone, and also loved at the same time. Not only by Heavenly Father, but also by Bryan as it just reminded me of how much he cared and wanted to help. So, yeah, thanks Bryan. :) It worked. 

I have now gotten a little bit of food poisoning. We all did (mom, sister and me) a little bit, but I got the bulk of it out of us three. I don't need/want to be sick right now just cause I need the energy for student teaching. Oh well. 

My brother who is on a mission in Thailand right now is on the phone with his girlfriend right now. I'm excited to talk to him soon. :) been six months, more than that, since he's been gone. Amazing. 

4 more weeks until I see Bryan. (fine, three weeks and 5 days, I am counting...)

4 more weeks until I'm done student teaching. 4 weeks and 3 days until my final, then I move on to my internship. 

had a great relief society lesson today about sharing the gospel. Interesting, she asked us why people are afraid to share the gospel, brought up a lot of responses from a lot of ladies. Guess I'm not the only one who is quite shy when it comes to sharing the gospel (probably why i didn't serve a mission!). 

I miss Bryan. of course. :) 

My brother and his wife are coming over with their brand new baby boy in a few moments. I'm excited, I hope to get some pictures of me and the baby (Benjamin) where I'm actually looking at the camera. :) He's way cute. 

Back to homework I go....*trudge*

Seriously I complain a lot

This has been a long long week. Student teaching really takes it out of me, and since I'm in a slump, I have no motivation to do any homework or work. So it's really hard to get going on it. My mentor teacher has also been driving me crazy, and I actually switch mentor teachers after next week, which is good and bad. Good that I won't be dealing directly with the one I hav enow, although she requested that she borrow me in the afternoons and was given permission to do so. Bad, I have to start all over again with learning 60 more names of kids (I switch both morning and afternoon session due to first teacher's class going off track [year round school]), and get the feel of management for the class. I'm not entirely excited. yet, I will be able to see two more perspectives on teaching kindergarten, which is quite valuable for my leraning experience...just...three weeks? man. Right now I also have to write detailed lesson plans for everything I teach, and I set up anywhere from 8-10 stations a week right now. Each lesson plan is at least 2-3 pages long. Then I also have homework on the side. Not fun. I also have an independent study class. I have to take the final by June 8th (which is my LASt day of student teaching), lucky me. I gotta figure out how to work that into the office hours of the testing place for independent study testing since they have normal office hours M-F 8-5 (I'm gone from 730am-6pm due to student teaching 45 minutes away and traffic being nasty). 

My apartment complex finally decided to pave the parking lot after half a year of it being torn away and sitting there with gravel. Problem? Bryan's car was in it and it doesn't work. Luckily we hav enice home teachers, Bryan called in a favor for me since I suck on the phone, and the hometeachers came over with a couple of other guys to push Bryan's car out on to the street. Need to make them cookies and such. Now I have to park aways away, which I wouldn't normally complain all that much, it just adds one more thing to this :) 

Bryan's car doesn't work because of something to do with the security system being screwy on his car, so I've been having to drive my car. The check engine light came on last week (his car broke down the night before he left). I just took it in today, need tune up, spark plugs, wiring, and engine coolant sensor replaced. Naturally...we just have (sarcasm) TONS of money to take care of it all. I'm tired of cars, but I HAVE to have a working car. if I miss a day of student teaching I have to make it up in the end, but which I do not want to do cause then I would have to prolong flying to CA to see Bryan, and possibly will not be able to make up all the days and not pass the course. That's just not an option since I've signed the contract with my internship last night. 

I also need to get stuff for a newsletter done for a national organization. i've been doing friendly follow up e-mails and such for people who owe me articles, but nothing so far. It's frustrating. This newsletter has to be done printed and ready to be in my hand by Friday. I also need to get together some minutes done for another organization, but at least this one can wait a little bit...hopefully. 

Not having Bryan here just makes it harder cause I can't really vent to him when I need to vent...right away. Over the phone sucks cause I can't hear that well, and I have no tty or landline to use a tty with. So e-mail or texting is basically my only option, so his voice...eh, don't get to really hear it all that much and when i do, I misunderstand or can't understand a lot of what he says. it's really frustrating. I was doing really well this week until last night, when it hit me, it's only been one week. I don't know how military people deal with the length of time their spouse may be gone. 

Also, seems like Bryan just doesn't have time/patience to listen to me about this right now. 

I also feel like I'm just making Bryan's time worse in CA by trying/needing to talk to him. Just feels like everything is my fault right now. 

I've been struggling a lot lately with prayers and scriptures. I try every night, and normally do make it, but it's usually quite short. I want to go to the temple...but...my car.....yeah. *sigh*

I just wanna curl up in a bed and go away. 

....yeah, major whine post and probably comes off as immature to most of you

Bryan's gone again

He's gone. I'll see him again June 14th or 15th when I fly out there to meet up with him to go to disneyland and visit his parents in San Francisco. I think I take these things kind of extra hard just cause I'm a very sensitive person, which sucks at times :) I REALLY miss the piano right now. WHen I'm down, or anything but happy, playing the piano always helps me. Too bad there isn't room for my keyboard at the least, oh well, piano music will do. 
The great awesome news for today though, my nephew was born at 4:06 AM this morning. 5 lbs and 15 oz. Everything went great, he and the mom are fine. :) I get to go see them after church today, I'm very excited and will be taking pictures...those are to come soon :)I am now officially an aunt! :) YAY!

Finals

*big sigh of relief*

All six finals are now done. :) I should get pretty decent grades this semester. :) Happy day it's done!