My dream last night reminded me that I never said anything about this.
When we went in for the stress test on Friday, we, as usual, saw the ultrasound. Not only did we definitely see a boy that time, but we actually saw him BREATHING. Sure, it's not oxygen, but his stomach, lungs, diaphragm were all moving up and down as if he was breathing. He's practicing breathing right now, but still, it was just SO amazing to see that.
I've also started to unconsciously push him around when I'm at work or sitting in class. My classes are four hours long, so I'm there for awhile. We only have one break, and it's 10 minutes long. I get up and walk around a lot at that point. But I've realized that my teachers smile at me while lecturing, and for a bit I just thought it was something along the lines of "oh look, she's so pregnant, she doesn't fit in the desk chair! so cute" blah blah blah (yes, you do get sick of these kind of thoughts cause you feel like, as Bryan likes to lovingly call me, a tubbo [he seriously just sees it as a pet name, nothing more, I warned him how insulting it sounds to a pregnant woman :)]). Then a teacher said something the other day, and it all clicked. She's teaching, and then during a pause in teaching, she looks at me and says "has he got a toe stuck in your ribs?" Apparently I've been pushing on his feet when he starts pushing up against my stomach. It doesn't hurt, just really uncomfortable sometimes, so I push his foot back to make him move it. This all led to the realization....he's got BONES. SOLID BONES. I knew this before, but....I can FEEL him....just...weird.
And yes, I do go through mood swings, just look at the last entry compared to this one :)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
pointless dr visit
Went into the doctor's today.
Do the usual, check blood pressure (little high..again), pee in a cup, and get ready for the other routine parts,..... and the membrane stripping
Rest of Dr visit
Apparently I'm too high up for her to reach, period. My cervix is barely opening, but she can't tell how much because she could just barely reach with her fingertips, and was definitely not able to do the membrane stripping. This also means that I am not a good candidate for being induced, so it looks like this kid is just gonna come when he wants to come.
The only really downer part of the whole thing, was the pain. Normally there wouldn't be all that much pain, but today just wasn't a good day. I woke up, and my mouth was completely dry, and I knew I had drainage. It had apparently dried to the back of my throat, so when I took a drink of water, it moistened it and made it move, making me gag. So I threw up, and throwing up ALWAYS gives me a headache, so that was lovely. I also didn't sleep well last night, so I'm just not feeling well in general. This is where it may get to be too much TMI for some of you, but this is why the attempt at membrane stripping and feeling my cervix hurt. I've got hemorrhoids, and have had them for awhile, and will probably have them until I give birth. The pressure in that area did not help. I also have two rashes in that area as well that is not related to hemorrhoids, so that wasn't helpful in not causing pain either. It just wasn't a pleasant experience, and it didn't even work. Not mention it's a total invasion of your feeling privacy. That part I do not look forward to for birth, having someone else looking in that area, and not just one person, but a few of them.
I go back in on Monday so she can try again. Tomorrow is my next stress test to make sure everything is ok. My doctor has been getting the reports back from the hospital, and it seems that everything is fine so far, they're just being cautious because of my swelling and the increase in my blood pressure.
After the whole thing, I just felt completely....lost? overwhelmed? hopeless?
Definitely overwhelmed, school has been really stressful with the amount of workload I've had lately. I've caught up though, and am now ahead in two classes, so that's good. But still, there's still a lot left to do. Fortunately I only have 5 more field visits to do (I had 25 to do before). Two will be done in the same day once I hear back from a lady, two I can't do until December anyway, and 1 will be hopefully sometime this next week with my classmate. Then I can stop trying to schedule work and classes and dr and hospital appointments all around each other.
More complaining :)
I also just feel so hopelessly big. This morning, I put two big ol scratches on my tummy because I couldn't fit very well in between the bed and the wall to get to the other side of the bed to get access to the clean clothes. I would normally have just gotten Bryan to go get stuff for me, or literally rolled across the bed to get to those clothes, but he was asleep, in the bed, so obviously that wasn't an option :) After getting those two big scratches, it just kind of dawned on me how...big I am. I know I've dropped a lot as well, but apparently, me dropping doesn't mean much since I'm just in general too high anyway :) I can't bend over far enough to put lotion on my legs, or apply creams or whatever. Part of what makes me feel so big is the amount of swelling that happens daily now. So much so that I can't bend my feet very well, so I'm starting to walk funny, which I hate. This adds to the overwhelming feeling that I've had from school and work, and scheduling.
I hate how I haven't been able to help that much around the house as well. Bryan has done an awesome job in keeping the house up to par. We just need to go through the nursery and get things organized in there. I plan to do that on Saturday since I'm pretty much caught up in homework, I have time to just....be in my own home without outside things interfering.
I guess my "lost" feeling is just not knowing what's going to happen next. If I'm anything like my mom, I'll have this baby this weekend. Whenever her cervix was just opening, she was in labor in the next day or two. If I'm not like my mother, then it could very well be a couple or even a few more weeks. I hate not knowing, I hate feeling like I'm completely unprepared, even though there isn't anything I can do about it right now. After the visit, and going by walgreens to get a prescription, i started crying. I've been proud of myself to be able to keep my hormones under some generally good control throughout this pregnancy. This is the 6th or 7th time I've cried throughout the whole pregnancy, and that includes when I left Bryan in Brazil, so yeah, I'd say I've been good. I asked Bryan, he says I've been good, but he's kind of obligated to say that anyway.
I'm just tired. exhausted. It's been a long two weeks, and I hope this next week goes by really fast or I'll just have to have a mental breakdown. I can't wait to have a break (thanksgiving), and I can't wait for this semester to be over. This pregnancy hadn't felt long until just this past week. Sure, I'm in the home stretch, but dang, it's like going on an super steep uphill hike. You know you're almost there, you only have 50 more feet, but you're just so dang tired that it still feels like you won't make it even though you may have already gone 5,000 feet. That's just how I feel.
Well...I had a lot more to say than I thought. Props to you if you make it through :)
Do the usual, check blood pressure (little high..again), pee in a cup, and get ready for the other routine parts,..... and the membrane stripping
Rest of Dr visit
Apparently I'm too high up for her to reach, period. My cervix is barely opening, but she can't tell how much because she could just barely reach with her fingertips, and was definitely not able to do the membrane stripping. This also means that I am not a good candidate for being induced, so it looks like this kid is just gonna come when he wants to come.
The only really downer part of the whole thing, was the pain. Normally there wouldn't be all that much pain, but today just wasn't a good day. I woke up, and my mouth was completely dry, and I knew I had drainage. It had apparently dried to the back of my throat, so when I took a drink of water, it moistened it and made it move, making me gag. So I threw up, and throwing up ALWAYS gives me a headache, so that was lovely. I also didn't sleep well last night, so I'm just not feeling well in general. This is where it may get to be too much TMI for some of you, but this is why the attempt at membrane stripping and feeling my cervix hurt. I've got hemorrhoids, and have had them for awhile, and will probably have them until I give birth. The pressure in that area did not help. I also have two rashes in that area as well that is not related to hemorrhoids, so that wasn't helpful in not causing pain either. It just wasn't a pleasant experience, and it didn't even work. Not mention it's a total invasion of your feeling privacy. That part I do not look forward to for birth, having someone else looking in that area, and not just one person, but a few of them.
I go back in on Monday so she can try again. Tomorrow is my next stress test to make sure everything is ok. My doctor has been getting the reports back from the hospital, and it seems that everything is fine so far, they're just being cautious because of my swelling and the increase in my blood pressure.
After the whole thing, I just felt completely....lost? overwhelmed? hopeless?
Definitely overwhelmed, school has been really stressful with the amount of workload I've had lately. I've caught up though, and am now ahead in two classes, so that's good. But still, there's still a lot left to do. Fortunately I only have 5 more field visits to do (I had 25 to do before). Two will be done in the same day once I hear back from a lady, two I can't do until December anyway, and 1 will be hopefully sometime this next week with my classmate. Then I can stop trying to schedule work and classes and dr and hospital appointments all around each other.
More complaining :)
I also just feel so hopelessly big. This morning, I put two big ol scratches on my tummy because I couldn't fit very well in between the bed and the wall to get to the other side of the bed to get access to the clean clothes. I would normally have just gotten Bryan to go get stuff for me, or literally rolled across the bed to get to those clothes, but he was asleep, in the bed, so obviously that wasn't an option :) After getting those two big scratches, it just kind of dawned on me how...big I am. I know I've dropped a lot as well, but apparently, me dropping doesn't mean much since I'm just in general too high anyway :) I can't bend over far enough to put lotion on my legs, or apply creams or whatever. Part of what makes me feel so big is the amount of swelling that happens daily now. So much so that I can't bend my feet very well, so I'm starting to walk funny, which I hate. This adds to the overwhelming feeling that I've had from school and work, and scheduling.
I hate how I haven't been able to help that much around the house as well. Bryan has done an awesome job in keeping the house up to par. We just need to go through the nursery and get things organized in there. I plan to do that on Saturday since I'm pretty much caught up in homework, I have time to just....be in my own home without outside things interfering.
I guess my "lost" feeling is just not knowing what's going to happen next. If I'm anything like my mom, I'll have this baby this weekend. Whenever her cervix was just opening, she was in labor in the next day or two. If I'm not like my mother, then it could very well be a couple or even a few more weeks. I hate not knowing, I hate feeling like I'm completely unprepared, even though there isn't anything I can do about it right now. After the visit, and going by walgreens to get a prescription, i started crying. I've been proud of myself to be able to keep my hormones under some generally good control throughout this pregnancy. This is the 6th or 7th time I've cried throughout the whole pregnancy, and that includes when I left Bryan in Brazil, so yeah, I'd say I've been good. I asked Bryan, he says I've been good, but he's kind of obligated to say that anyway.
I'm just tired. exhausted. It's been a long two weeks, and I hope this next week goes by really fast or I'll just have to have a mental breakdown. I can't wait to have a break (thanksgiving), and I can't wait for this semester to be over. This pregnancy hadn't felt long until just this past week. Sure, I'm in the home stretch, but dang, it's like going on an super steep uphill hike. You know you're almost there, you only have 50 more feet, but you're just so dang tired that it still feels like you won't make it even though you may have already gone 5,000 feet. That's just how I feel.
Well...I had a lot more to say than I thought. Props to you if you make it through :)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Membrane
I am so NOT looking forward to the membrane stripping tomorrow.
bleh.
In other news, first monitored visit, my fluid level was 12, the second time it was 15, and this last time, Tuesday, it was 20. So whatever I'm doing, I'm doing it right :) I just hope it doesn't keep increasing a lot, because if it keeps with this trend I'll be 30 something by the time he's born, and dang it, I'm already big enough! :)
bleh.
In other news, first monitored visit, my fluid level was 12, the second time it was 15, and this last time, Tuesday, it was 20. So whatever I'm doing, I'm doing it right :) I just hope it doesn't keep increasing a lot, because if it keeps with this trend I'll be 30 something by the time he's born, and dang it, I'm already big enough! :)
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Baby update again
Went in for amniotic and nonstress testing.
Fluid is at 15, we also confirmed for sure that it's definitely a boy (not on purpose...he just wasn't shy...at all).
Heartbeat and activity was good, he was active enough so I didn't stay for over an hour like last time in the chair/bed.
BP was 142/69. The top number is a little high, but not enough for concern, and their biggest concern is the bottom number anyway, and I'm totally fine there.
She informed me that I needed to drink water. This only irked me because I typically do drink a lot of water. However, this morning, we left at 9:30 for our 9:50 appointment. Get there at like 9:51, I'm already thirsty, but there's no drinking fountain in sight. I forgot to bring my water bottle with me, and we didn't even get in there until close to 11. By this point, I'm dying of thirst. Then we're doing the testing until about 12, and i go to the bathroom, and i have not had a drink yet (seriously, my throat was a desert at this point). Then she comes out to nag me about drinking water. Yes, I'm irrationally bugged by it, but nonetheless, I DO drink a lot of water, thank you very much.
And that's it. Healthy, normal, everything looks great. Was advised to drink more water (ahem) and take long periods of resting time (I have to figure out how to wiggle that in...).
Fluid is at 15, we also confirmed for sure that it's definitely a boy (not on purpose...he just wasn't shy...at all).
Heartbeat and activity was good, he was active enough so I didn't stay for over an hour like last time in the chair/bed.
BP was 142/69. The top number is a little high, but not enough for concern, and their biggest concern is the bottom number anyway, and I'm totally fine there.
She informed me that I needed to drink water. This only irked me because I typically do drink a lot of water. However, this morning, we left at 9:30 for our 9:50 appointment. Get there at like 9:51, I'm already thirsty, but there's no drinking fountain in sight. I forgot to bring my water bottle with me, and we didn't even get in there until close to 11. By this point, I'm dying of thirst. Then we're doing the testing until about 12, and i go to the bathroom, and i have not had a drink yet (seriously, my throat was a desert at this point). Then she comes out to nag me about drinking water. Yes, I'm irrationally bugged by it, but nonetheless, I DO drink a lot of water, thank you very much.
And that's it. Healthy, normal, everything looks great. Was advised to drink more water (ahem) and take long periods of resting time (I have to figure out how to wiggle that in...).
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Baby update
So, I went in today expecting only a 10 minute visit.
Yeah, everything combined turned into almost 4 hours :)
No, no, nothing big, but I'll still tell you about it.
I went in, and we do the normal check up stuff. Check weight, pee in a cup, check blood pressure, get undressed, measure uterus, check heart beat, check if head is down, check cervix.
(cut for length)
Well I actually weigh less than last week (I've been sick, plus last week I ate breakfast right before going in, this time I didn't have time). Far as I know, no protein in urine (they didn't say anything), blood pressure was high for me (I normally have very low blood pressure), but still within normal range for most people, uterus measuring appropriately, heart beat sounds great, was actually able to find the head this time, and yes, he is down, and the cervix is still completely closed.
I promised my mom I would ask about toxemia as on Sunday when I saw her she said my face was too big, and that I need to ask about it. Well, turns out, the doctor was thinking along the same lines. She wants me to be monitored closely since my blood pressure is up (for me), and I've been coming in looking a little more swollen each time. So she says we need to go to the hospital and do a non-stress test, ultrasound, and measure the amniotic fluid as well as do some blood work there. We wait for the call to schedule the appointment, and they said to just come right on over.
We go over, go straight to the place where I'm to do all this. Keep in mind, I haven't eaten yet, I was rushing, so I'm hungry by now. We wait in the waiting room, and get called in like 5 minutes, and go to the back. We get to see the ultrasound, just briefly, heart beat is good, we could see it beating, and say lots of bones too, even his ear! She measured the amniotic fluid, which was measuring at 12 (which is normal, and good). Then she hooks me up to the monitor to do the nonstress test. THIS is what took forever. He did NOT want to wake up, he was a sleepy baby. We even had to do a thing where she wakes him up with this vibrating thing that makes sound as well and puts it against my tummy...THREE times. Just to get him to move. It all seems normal though.
While being hooked up to measure the heartbeat, and watch it, I was also hooked up to see if I was having contractions. I didn't think I was. I told my doctor that I thought I had some braxton hicks ones because they felt like PMS cramps, and I've had them at least once a day the past few days, but only once or twice, nothing too big that concerned me. Well, as it turns out, I was having contractions the entire time I was being monitored. I still can't tell if I'm having them or not. Hopefully that's a good sign :) After watching when the monitor would go up showing that I was having a contraction, I started recognizing when it was a contraction. All this time I thought it was just the baby moving or rolling a little bit. Just very slight pressure, barely noticeable, and no pain. I still cannot tell the difference though. If I felt something it was either the contraction or him moving, and I was right on guessing which it was at some times, other times I was wrong.
But, having contractions right now doesn't really matter all that much since I'm not dilated at all. But the doctors all seem to agree that this baby is going to be coming soon. (probably sooner than I hoped). My regular doctor will start stripping the membrane next week to help move things along, so, we'll see how that goes.
I am now to go to my regular doctor once a week (as expected, it's been that way awhile), AND to the hospital twice a week to do the amniotic fluid measurements and the nonstress test. So, doctors, three times a week. Lovely :)
After this whole process of being monitored (she was kind enough to give me cookies and juice since I hadn't eaten yet, which was probably why the baby was so sleepy), we went down to the lab to do the blood work. They took two tubes of blood, and then, we were finally done. While we were doing waiting, we also registered at the hospital so that all the questions wouldn't be asked when we arrived when I was in labor, so that parts done.
After the blood stuff, we took a tour of the maternity ward, and now know where I will be during labor and recover, and where i'll be for post-partum and where the nursery is. They are remodeling the hospital, and it'll be done mid-december, but it's still seems to be a pretty nice place. We're in the updated rooms, and it seems like everything will be easily accessible and such. We were advised to bring our own DVDs to watch since they just barely moved everything from VHS to DVD, and have a very limited selection of DVDs. :)
I went to the Dr at 9:45 this morning, and we got done with the hospital itself at 1:45, then went to lunch (finally got my caprese sandwich!), and now I'm here at work waiting for a video to finish transferring. I'm EXHAUSTED. I can't wait to go home and take a power nap so I can do my homework and get things done and try to finish as much homework as I can before the baby comes. the next week (from today until next week Wed) is going to be killer in terms of homework, observations, teaching, signing games, community activities and dr appointments.
I hope and pray I make it through!
P.S. Bryan got me pizza last night...with stuffed crust :) He's so awesome!
Yeah, everything combined turned into almost 4 hours :)
No, no, nothing big, but I'll still tell you about it.
I went in, and we do the normal check up stuff. Check weight, pee in a cup, check blood pressure, get undressed, measure uterus, check heart beat, check if head is down, check cervix.
(cut for length)
Well I actually weigh less than last week (I've been sick, plus last week I ate breakfast right before going in, this time I didn't have time). Far as I know, no protein in urine (they didn't say anything), blood pressure was high for me (I normally have very low blood pressure), but still within normal range for most people, uterus measuring appropriately, heart beat sounds great, was actually able to find the head this time, and yes, he is down, and the cervix is still completely closed.
I promised my mom I would ask about toxemia as on Sunday when I saw her she said my face was too big, and that I need to ask about it. Well, turns out, the doctor was thinking along the same lines. She wants me to be monitored closely since my blood pressure is up (for me), and I've been coming in looking a little more swollen each time. So she says we need to go to the hospital and do a non-stress test, ultrasound, and measure the amniotic fluid as well as do some blood work there. We wait for the call to schedule the appointment, and they said to just come right on over.
We go over, go straight to the place where I'm to do all this. Keep in mind, I haven't eaten yet, I was rushing, so I'm hungry by now. We wait in the waiting room, and get called in like 5 minutes, and go to the back. We get to see the ultrasound, just briefly, heart beat is good, we could see it beating, and say lots of bones too, even his ear! She measured the amniotic fluid, which was measuring at 12 (which is normal, and good). Then she hooks me up to the monitor to do the nonstress test. THIS is what took forever. He did NOT want to wake up, he was a sleepy baby. We even had to do a thing where she wakes him up with this vibrating thing that makes sound as well and puts it against my tummy...THREE times. Just to get him to move. It all seems normal though.
While being hooked up to measure the heartbeat, and watch it, I was also hooked up to see if I was having contractions. I didn't think I was. I told my doctor that I thought I had some braxton hicks ones because they felt like PMS cramps, and I've had them at least once a day the past few days, but only once or twice, nothing too big that concerned me. Well, as it turns out, I was having contractions the entire time I was being monitored. I still can't tell if I'm having them or not. Hopefully that's a good sign :) After watching when the monitor would go up showing that I was having a contraction, I started recognizing when it was a contraction. All this time I thought it was just the baby moving or rolling a little bit. Just very slight pressure, barely noticeable, and no pain. I still cannot tell the difference though. If I felt something it was either the contraction or him moving, and I was right on guessing which it was at some times, other times I was wrong.
But, having contractions right now doesn't really matter all that much since I'm not dilated at all. But the doctors all seem to agree that this baby is going to be coming soon. (probably sooner than I hoped). My regular doctor will start stripping the membrane next week to help move things along, so, we'll see how that goes.
I am now to go to my regular doctor once a week (as expected, it's been that way awhile), AND to the hospital twice a week to do the amniotic fluid measurements and the nonstress test. So, doctors, three times a week. Lovely :)
After this whole process of being monitored (she was kind enough to give me cookies and juice since I hadn't eaten yet, which was probably why the baby was so sleepy), we went down to the lab to do the blood work. They took two tubes of blood, and then, we were finally done. While we were doing waiting, we also registered at the hospital so that all the questions wouldn't be asked when we arrived when I was in labor, so that parts done.
After the blood stuff, we took a tour of the maternity ward, and now know where I will be during labor and recover, and where i'll be for post-partum and where the nursery is. They are remodeling the hospital, and it'll be done mid-december, but it's still seems to be a pretty nice place. We're in the updated rooms, and it seems like everything will be easily accessible and such. We were advised to bring our own DVDs to watch since they just barely moved everything from VHS to DVD, and have a very limited selection of DVDs. :)
I went to the Dr at 9:45 this morning, and we got done with the hospital itself at 1:45, then went to lunch (finally got my caprese sandwich!), and now I'm here at work waiting for a video to finish transferring. I'm EXHAUSTED. I can't wait to go home and take a power nap so I can do my homework and get things done and try to finish as much homework as I can before the baby comes. the next week (from today until next week Wed) is going to be killer in terms of homework, observations, teaching, signing games, community activities and dr appointments.
I hope and pray I make it through!
P.S. Bryan got me pizza last night...with stuffed crust :) He's so awesome!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Cravings
You would think that ignoring a craving for five weeks would make it go away.
It's probably just pregnancy, but it in fact, does not go away.
I've been avoiding pizza for awhile, just not healthy (but...man, it's so freaking good! all that cheese *drool*). My ideal meal would be cheese bread sticks, with cheese stuffed crust pizza with extra cheese for the topping and pepperoni. SO so bad, and I bet I could eat the whole dang thing myself. If I weren't trying to be careful with what I eat with the baby and all, I'd probably do it in a heart beat.
But five weeks? GO AWAY CRAVING!
It's probably just pregnancy, but it in fact, does not go away.
I've been avoiding pizza for awhile, just not healthy (but...man, it's so freaking good! all that cheese *drool*). My ideal meal would be cheese bread sticks, with cheese stuffed crust pizza with extra cheese for the topping and pepperoni. SO so bad, and I bet I could eat the whole dang thing myself. If I weren't trying to be careful with what I eat with the baby and all, I'd probably do it in a heart beat.
But five weeks? GO AWAY CRAVING!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Baby update
Went to the doctor today for week 36. (Can't believe I'm already 36 1/2 weeks).
Cervix is still very much closed, and she still couldn't tell if the head was down or not. That means next week I see her on Wednesday, then get an ultrasound on Thursday to make sure the baby is in position.
I've got this nasty cold going on, so she gave me a list of things I can take to help with it, so I'm looking forward to some remedies.
I also had to get my warts checked up on (they're on my feet). Had to do another freezing. So basically, I just hurt everywhere. :)
Other than that, things are good. Baby is active, I've dropped a lot, heartbeat is strong, no extreme things to cause any concern. It's nice :)
Cervix is still very much closed, and she still couldn't tell if the head was down or not. That means next week I see her on Wednesday, then get an ultrasound on Thursday to make sure the baby is in position.
I've got this nasty cold going on, so she gave me a list of things I can take to help with it, so I'm looking forward to some remedies.
I also had to get my warts checked up on (they're on my feet). Had to do another freezing. So basically, I just hurt everywhere. :)
Other than that, things are good. Baby is active, I've dropped a lot, heartbeat is strong, no extreme things to cause any concern. It's nice :)
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