Saturday, November 19, 2005
music class update
So I went into talk to my music teacher earlier today. It went very well. After I explained that I could vocally do the pitches myself (not in tune mind you, just the fact that I can make my voice go up and down) without a problem, but I could not hear whether the students were responding with the right pitches or not, she was totally open to making other alternatives to everything. As I suspected we have to do the vocal pitch exercise for part of the final, but in place of me doing it, she will have me write a paper on how I would ask a parent volunteer to do it and explain the steps and such through it. Very fair final, I'm way excited and glad that she was very understanding. As for teaching a song that is a game on Monday, she gave me the recording to use, and I'll just mouth the words as the song goes along (I have to have the song memorized anyway, so that's not too hard). So yeah, All's well! Thanks to everyone for the words of advice and encouragement :)
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Music Class vent
So, being an early childhood education at a hearing university (in otherwords any university but gallaudet, NTID, CSUN basically), I'm required to take some classes. One of them is Early childhood music. In this class we learn how to teach kids how to song. I've been able to do ok in the class so far, I was oral most of my life, didn't have any visual communication until I was 13, and have used it since. I speak fairly well, I had a lot more hearing as a kid, but I was still born with a moderate loss, I am now severe/profound (right on the border) and will eventually lose the rest most likely. How I feel about that is another story :)
VERY VERY LONG post about music and me and my class, tons of background information basically, and a HUGE vent. SORRY!
I love music, I play instruments, I listen to music all the time, but when it comes to songs with words that are on the radio. In order to be able to recognize them I have to memorize the song, listen to it while reading the lyrics over and over again, probably at least 10 times, AT LEAST. I play instruments that aren't too hard to do without having to hear it. I watch my hands on the piano and the harp. The flute was another story, I can hear higher pitches more than anything else, especially speech sounds (hence why I do so well orally considering the loss I have). So the flute wasn't too hard to pick up, my problem area was the lowest octave on the flute, and I had to sit down and memorize the exact mouth positions and hand rolling back and forth and so forth, I had to do that with the other pitches as well, but esp[ecially with the lower octaves.
The point of telling you all that is to prove, I can't tell/hear the difference between pitches all that well. I just enjoy hearing music, it doesn't mean I know what key it is in, what notes are being played or even what instruments are being played. I can't understand words of songs at all the first few times I hear it. I've had more than one teacher try to teach me to compose music and turn around/close my eyes to make me to be this deaf prodigy musician that can tell the difference between C and F in the same octave, I hear no difference, none, whatsoever.
That being said, I sing like crap. I can feel my voice go up and down, but I KNOW they aren't even the right pitches or in tune! I've sat down with a tuner a many times because I'd give a lot to be able to sing beautifully, it's one thing I've always wanted to be able to do in this life time, but I've accepted the fact that it won't happen, It's like telling a person who has no legs whatsoever, no thighs nothing, that they will be able to walk. It's just not possible, maybe technology can help with the person to walk, but technology can only go so far right now, and I am just not capable of being able to sing. Simple as that, not that hard to understand.
SO with all that background information, here's my dilemma:
Up until this point, my teacher has just had us sing in groups, and play song games, and know written material. NOW, she expects all of us to sing and to teach the class pitches and such. I cannot do this, I am not capable of doing this. To me it's not that hard to understand. But last week, she was talking to the class how anyone who knows a language (I'm assuming she means a SPOKEN language) is not tone deaf. They know howto use the language in raising pitches in questions and such, so therefore they are not tone deaf. Then as usual she says "now, we have a special case in our classroom where one student is deaf" etc, and how deaf people are tone deaf or can be I don't remember what she said. I didn't have a problem with this because it's true. Then she refers to Helen Keller. She talks about how the teacher put her hand on the girls throat and had her feel the movement of the throat and such to know how to make her voice go up and down. My teacher believes that if she tries this method on me, I will be able to song is basically what she insinuated in the classroom. I couldn't believe what I heard/saw in the classroom. I was stunned by what she said that I didn't talk to her after class, and have since been thinking long and hard about this.
I want to talk to her before she goes all Helen Keller on me in front of the classroom and humiliates possibly not only me, but herself as well because I don't want her to think she's failed in teaching. I want her to understand that I'm deaf, I've been through this kind of process before and it has not worked. I cannot hear pitches, simple as that. As a teacher I do not plan on teaching hearing kids or the mainstream classroom. I plan on teaching deaf kids, specficially with cued language, if there's not enough people, then ASL. I won't be teaching these kids how to sing! I'll teach them beat, I feel music is important and knowing something about it is important because it's a part of the culture that surrounds them outside of their home, so it's important to know something about it. What better way than to go with beat where they can feel the differences and learn about some musical concepts through that?
However, if I WERE to be teaching in a mainstream classroom, a "normal" public school if youwill, I still would not teach those kids how to sing myself. I would be robbing them of the opportunity to be able to learn how to sing appropriately. I would be robbing them of wonderful musical opportunities. THOUGH i do still feel it's important for (especially) hearing kids to learn music and to sing. In that case, if there was no specific teacher to teach music to the class, then I would hire a TA or ask the school to hire a TA, or have a volunteer to come into the classroom to teach or maybe have a student from a university come and teach that ismajoring in teaching music. If I were to teach them how to sing myself, that would be highly unprofessional and completely inappropriate.
My teacher does not seem to understand this. Granted I haven't talked to her yet, but she seems to be determined to be able to make me sing. I want to confront her before she goes Helen Keller crazy on me. I'm not sure how to approach it without offending her and making her feel like I'm insulting her teaching. I love how she teaches our class, she's a wonderful teacher and we all learn something every time. But I can't sing, thus I don't feel she should expect me to be able to sing. Ithought about suggesting teaching how to sign the song insteadx, but with the guidelines and principles that she has set up, Totally defeats the purpose of these exercises.
I'm just not sure what to say to her. I'm going to e-mail her within the next couple of days to see if I can get a conversation going with her before I'm supposed to have a song prepared to teach to the whole class on Monday. I don't want her to think I'm just trying to get out of an assignment because it's hard, I want her to understand that I have limitations and this is one of them. I can't do this appropriately. I just don't know how to go about it.
*sigh*
that was a very long venting post and I apologize for how long it is. But my husband is busy sleeping and it's my fault he's so tired because I brought up other issues I was having so I haven't been able to talk to him, and mymother is at work so I can't talk to her about it either and I had to vent now.
So there you have it, I am at a loss as to what to say to her without cuasing conflict, tension, or offense. *sigh* Comments would be appreciated if you make it through this.
VERY VERY LONG post about music and me and my class, tons of background information basically, and a HUGE vent. SORRY!
I love music, I play instruments, I listen to music all the time, but when it comes to songs with words that are on the radio. In order to be able to recognize them I have to memorize the song, listen to it while reading the lyrics over and over again, probably at least 10 times, AT LEAST. I play instruments that aren't too hard to do without having to hear it. I watch my hands on the piano and the harp. The flute was another story, I can hear higher pitches more than anything else, especially speech sounds (hence why I do so well orally considering the loss I have). So the flute wasn't too hard to pick up, my problem area was the lowest octave on the flute, and I had to sit down and memorize the exact mouth positions and hand rolling back and forth and so forth, I had to do that with the other pitches as well, but esp[ecially with the lower octaves.
The point of telling you all that is to prove, I can't tell/hear the difference between pitches all that well. I just enjoy hearing music, it doesn't mean I know what key it is in, what notes are being played or even what instruments are being played. I can't understand words of songs at all the first few times I hear it. I've had more than one teacher try to teach me to compose music and turn around/close my eyes to make me to be this deaf prodigy musician that can tell the difference between C and F in the same octave, I hear no difference, none, whatsoever.
That being said, I sing like crap. I can feel my voice go up and down, but I KNOW they aren't even the right pitches or in tune! I've sat down with a tuner a many times because I'd give a lot to be able to sing beautifully, it's one thing I've always wanted to be able to do in this life time, but I've accepted the fact that it won't happen, It's like telling a person who has no legs whatsoever, no thighs nothing, that they will be able to walk. It's just not possible, maybe technology can help with the person to walk, but technology can only go so far right now, and I am just not capable of being able to sing. Simple as that, not that hard to understand.
SO with all that background information, here's my dilemma:
Up until this point, my teacher has just had us sing in groups, and play song games, and know written material. NOW, she expects all of us to sing and to teach the class pitches and such. I cannot do this, I am not capable of doing this. To me it's not that hard to understand. But last week, she was talking to the class how anyone who knows a language (I'm assuming she means a SPOKEN language) is not tone deaf. They know howto use the language in raising pitches in questions and such, so therefore they are not tone deaf. Then as usual she says "now, we have a special case in our classroom where one student is deaf" etc, and how deaf people are tone deaf or can be I don't remember what she said. I didn't have a problem with this because it's true. Then she refers to Helen Keller. She talks about how the teacher put her hand on the girls throat and had her feel the movement of the throat and such to know how to make her voice go up and down. My teacher believes that if she tries this method on me, I will be able to song is basically what she insinuated in the classroom. I couldn't believe what I heard/saw in the classroom. I was stunned by what she said that I didn't talk to her after class, and have since been thinking long and hard about this.
I want to talk to her before she goes all Helen Keller on me in front of the classroom and humiliates possibly not only me, but herself as well because I don't want her to think she's failed in teaching. I want her to understand that I'm deaf, I've been through this kind of process before and it has not worked. I cannot hear pitches, simple as that. As a teacher I do not plan on teaching hearing kids or the mainstream classroom. I plan on teaching deaf kids, specficially with cued language, if there's not enough people, then ASL. I won't be teaching these kids how to sing! I'll teach them beat, I feel music is important and knowing something about it is important because it's a part of the culture that surrounds them outside of their home, so it's important to know something about it. What better way than to go with beat where they can feel the differences and learn about some musical concepts through that?
However, if I WERE to be teaching in a mainstream classroom, a "normal" public school if youwill, I still would not teach those kids how to sing myself. I would be robbing them of the opportunity to be able to learn how to sing appropriately. I would be robbing them of wonderful musical opportunities. THOUGH i do still feel it's important for (especially) hearing kids to learn music and to sing. In that case, if there was no specific teacher to teach music to the class, then I would hire a TA or ask the school to hire a TA, or have a volunteer to come into the classroom to teach or maybe have a student from a university come and teach that ismajoring in teaching music. If I were to teach them how to sing myself, that would be highly unprofessional and completely inappropriate.
My teacher does not seem to understand this. Granted I haven't talked to her yet, but she seems to be determined to be able to make me sing. I want to confront her before she goes Helen Keller crazy on me. I'm not sure how to approach it without offending her and making her feel like I'm insulting her teaching. I love how she teaches our class, she's a wonderful teacher and we all learn something every time. But I can't sing, thus I don't feel she should expect me to be able to sing. Ithought about suggesting teaching how to sign the song insteadx, but with the guidelines and principles that she has set up, Totally defeats the purpose of these exercises.
I'm just not sure what to say to her. I'm going to e-mail her within the next couple of days to see if I can get a conversation going with her before I'm supposed to have a song prepared to teach to the whole class on Monday. I don't want her to think I'm just trying to get out of an assignment because it's hard, I want her to understand that I have limitations and this is one of them. I can't do this appropriately. I just don't know how to go about it.
*sigh*
that was a very long venting post and I apologize for how long it is. But my husband is busy sleeping and it's my fault he's so tired because I brought up other issues I was having so I haven't been able to talk to him, and mymother is at work so I can't talk to her about it either and I had to vent now.
So there you have it, I am at a loss as to what to say to her without cuasing conflict, tension, or offense. *sigh* Comments would be appreciated if you make it through this.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
sick AGAIN
I think I'm being punished for something I did horribly wrong that I'm unaware of. seriously.
So I've been on the antibiotics to get rid of the kidney infection, today was supposed to be my last day on them. I got thrush meanwhile, so I have to take that medicine too, which will take quite some time. I also (sorry TMI) got yeat infection as well.
NOW guess what I got? The stomach flu from my husband. I can't take any of meds as I cannot keep ANYTHING down. I threw up as many times today as I did last week while feeling EXTREMELY ill, the only thing missing this time, is all the fever/chill/back pain stuff, which I'm totally fine with missing out on all that.
I just want to feel better. I've been sick for 15 days straight, can I please please just get better? *sigh*
So I've been on the antibiotics to get rid of the kidney infection, today was supposed to be my last day on them. I got thrush meanwhile, so I have to take that medicine too, which will take quite some time. I also (sorry TMI) got yeat infection as well.
NOW guess what I got? The stomach flu from my husband. I can't take any of meds as I cannot keep ANYTHING down. I threw up as many times today as I did last week while feeling EXTREMELY ill, the only thing missing this time, is all the fever/chill/back pain stuff, which I'm totally fine with missing out on all that.
I just want to feel better. I've been sick for 15 days straight, can I please please just get better? *sigh*
Monday, November 7, 2005
sick update
Welp - I've made it through so far :) I haven't had to go back in for another IV or anything like that, so that's been awesome. I have my antibiotics for another 3 days I think, so *keeps fingers crossed*. Things are going relatively well, and I'm healing quite well as well. Count your many blessings. I had a great sleep last night, slept hard too, it was so nice to be back in bed with my hubby . I slept 3 nights without him (hey, our first time, so I can whine ok!), and missed having a body next to me terribly, especially since I was sick. It was so so so so very nice to have him there last night :)
The only downer part to all of this, since my antibiotics are STRONG, and I've had a shot of it and an IV of it as well, I've developed a very bad case of thrush, so it's extremely painful to swallow or have anything on my tongue basically now. The tongue didn't start hurting until today. I've had thrush before due to taking multiple meds at a time before, this time it's just this one is kick A strong. So I called the doc to see if they would just call in a prescription for me, and they will, so I'll have the meds tmrw, or today. :) YAY! :)
Thanks for your many "get well" wishes and cards (justaqt :) ). It made my day and helped me out a lot. I hope all of you are doing well and I hope this never happens to any of you cause it sucks. :)
Back to work I go :)
The only downer part to all of this, since my antibiotics are STRONG, and I've had a shot of it and an IV of it as well, I've developed a very bad case of thrush, so it's extremely painful to swallow or have anything on my tongue basically now. The tongue didn't start hurting until today. I've had thrush before due to taking multiple meds at a time before, this time it's just this one is kick A strong. So I called the doc to see if they would just call in a prescription for me, and they will, so I'll have the meds tmrw, or today. :) YAY! :)
Thanks for your many "get well" wishes and cards (justaqt :) ). It made my day and helped me out a lot. I hope all of you are doing well and I hope this never happens to any of you cause it sucks. :)
Back to work I go :)
Friday, November 4, 2005
sick
so i finally made it to the doctor last night, both my mom and i had a constant feeling of urgency to go to the doc before it closed, we made it a half hour before. I got in and my fever was 105.4, blood pressure was 74/34, pulse was 72 and i felt really crappy. They did some testing, and gave me some stuff. I have a nasty nasty kidney infection, that could get worse, so I have to be really careful right now. They gave me an antibiotic shot last night, a surposetory (sp?) and an 800 mg Iboprofen. couldn't get my antibiotic prescription filled yet becaues the pharmacioes all around us were close, thus the shots. The rest were to bring my fever down pretty much. I was there for about an hour, and it went down to 104.1, sent me home told my mom to monitor my fever, it went down and about 1 am it was normal temperature, so that was a good sign. Woke up this morning puking though, and was told that I needed to go back in tomorrow morning anyway to do a check up. I was too dehydrated so they put me on an IV, they were going to do two bags, but i started feeling better halfway through the first one, so they said one bag was good for now. They also did liquid anitbioitc through the IV. Prescribed some anti nausea stuff and some more pain pills for my back. I'm home now, I feel better my stomach hates me right now, and I wish I could drink the tallest glass of ice cold water right now and eat bratwursts. :( but alas, I shall wait for that. They also did some blood testing today to make sure the infection hadn't spread to my blood system already, if it had it would have taken a lot more aggressive action. If i had waited another day or two, I would have probably had to been hospitalized. And I thought I just had the flu, heh. In the blood testing, i'm back to being anemic again, and i have to get it back up before i even think about having children and i have to take folic acid as well.
If my temperature goes back up to the 103-104 range, I have to go back in. If i start puking again, I have to go back in for another IV and more testing. I've been sick since last Wednesday :( I had a bladder infection, i was drinking cranberry juice and stuff, and it started feeling a lot better, and monday i pretty much felt all the way better and myself again. Monday night I got slammed with fevers and chills, and hav ebeen sick like that since then, so I thought it was just the flu, how wrong was I. heh.
So if you could all just keep me in your prayers that no further harm will be done, i would really really appreciate it, I'm tired of being sick like this. I hope the rest of you are doing well and all is going well for you all :)
*hugs to all*
If my temperature goes back up to the 103-104 range, I have to go back in. If i start puking again, I have to go back in for another IV and more testing. I've been sick since last Wednesday :( I had a bladder infection, i was drinking cranberry juice and stuff, and it started feeling a lot better, and monday i pretty much felt all the way better and myself again. Monday night I got slammed with fevers and chills, and hav ebeen sick like that since then, so I thought it was just the flu, how wrong was I. heh.
So if you could all just keep me in your prayers that no further harm will be done, i would really really appreciate it, I'm tired of being sick like this. I hope the rest of you are doing well and all is going well for you all :)
*hugs to all*
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
Sick
I hate being sick as a dog. I was pretty sick last week, and it was starting to clear up yesterday, then last night i got REALLY REALLY sick. I have been unable to go to my class or meet with my teacher for a lab. I want to puke, have wanted to for awhile, but my body just won't do it (it really hates puking). I fell asleep around 1030 last night, have been waking up on and off since 11 this morning, I've probably only been awake for a total of 2-3 hours. I just want to be better, I can't really afford to miss any other classes, and I need to get a project done and work. I', hoping that I'll be able to finish the project tomorrow and do everything I need to.
One big huge great thing about this, Bryan has been taking care of me really well, and I've really appreciated it. It's been really nice to have him here to take care of me. He's currently at work, and I'll probably go back to sleep soon.
Hope everyone had a great halloween and is doing well :)
One big huge great thing about this, Bryan has been taking care of me really well, and I've really appreciated it. It's been really nice to have him here to take care of me. He's currently at work, and I'll probably go back to sleep soon.
Hope everyone had a great halloween and is doing well :)
Monday, October 31, 2005
work
So i'm teporarily working in an office for right now at the least, and my computer that they have se tup for me just won't work with what they have. So I'm using a computer that a co-worker has and is gone for the next little while. This means I'm no longer in my own little office, and am in a big office with two other people. I'm on my break right now so I could hurry and vent. They both talk on their cell phones ALL the time. It drives me crazy. They are here to work, being paid on a salary or hourly to work here, and all they do is talk on their phone. they could get SO much more work done and cause a lot of people (including me) a LOT less grief! BAH! Stupid people mixing personal business with work business. bleh
done venting
oh and
Happy Halloween! :)
done venting
oh and
Happy Halloween! :)
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